Should I invoke step child in every thing we do

[Mumma54321]

So my step child of 4yrs used to do lots with us stay Iver etc. As they've grown up that bit more (11) they don't want to stay as mich have mates etc at home. Will message say can I come but will cancell last min meaning they hardly come at all. The children living here get pocket money for doing chores etc and the step child gets the same but uses it toward a club often adding up to double what the others get for chores and sc says I'm not been a slice to get my pocket money.....but I let that go. That's 1 thing. The other is I put pics on my fb as a family dog walking mostly or doing somting while dog waking ie swimming or the odd time fishing. And now I am getting some horrific grief that they are not involved in the everyday things we do.......they choose when to come spend time with us we go every day for a dig walk etc if we were to have a bug day out they would be asked of corse but it seems only wants to be here when we are doing things.........I feel suck

Should I involve not invoke

Who is giving you grief for not involving them in daily family things when they aren’t there?

I’m a tiny bit confused about the pocket money situation - of course his father should still be giving him pocket money if he gives his other children pocket money but did I read correctly that he’s getting more than the other children? That’s not good if so.

I think it’s normal for him to ease off a bit to be with his friends - and by extension not be involved as much in daily things. You shouldn’t get grief for that, but if it’s the 11 year old giving you grief then his dad should just be saying ‘come over if you want to walk the dog you daftie, how are we supposed to take you with us when you aren’t here!’ The pocket money his dad should still pay him as he’s still his dad.

Just live your life. You really aren’t responsible.

the children should be looking to their father not you

however I’d probably not post public pictures as I do like a quiet life

I'd not be pandering to this in the slightest.
Your life continues without them, and if that is as struggle for them to come to terms with them it's up to the parents to help them learn to cope with their emotions.
Nobody's interests are best served by hiding dog walking trips lest the DSC goes off on one, least of all DSC.

Are the children who live in the house your children or yours and your DHs?

This is one of those situations where people are gonna have feeling and it's not your job to manage them.

If SDC are grumbling about photos being put on social media I would just say well you are welcome anytime. If you want to come it's up to you.

Re money all kids get equal mo et so stop with that stuff. The other kids will notice so you eight wanna reign in that.

@pitchforksandflamethrowers I think you're spot on.