Wills

[tootrueblue]

DP and I need to arrange wills and have been meaning to do it since we bought our house last year.

For those of you who are stepmums without your own biological children, have you left money in your will to your DSC? Or just your DP? I'm in half a mind to leave everything to my DP whilst we aren't married and then update my will once we marry, to leave some to my DSC. If we have a child together, I think I'd leave more to them.

Sensible? Any other suggestions? My estate would be worth around £260k.

Has that 260k been accrued prior to you meeting DP?

Do you have siblings/nieces or nephews that you would like to include?

If not, I'd leave my DP as the sole beneficiary.

Before I had a child, my the assets in my will were left to nephews and nieces.

Now they are left solely to my child.

My DP has no issue with this due to what happened during his divorce. He pointed out his other DC has their own mother and maternal family to inherit from.

I'm of the opinion that you leave an inheritance to the people you want to inherit directly. If DP inherits it all, marries then dies before sorting his will, some random woman will have your money instead of DSC. Or he inherits it all and spends the lot during midlife crisis. Or he lives to a ripe old age and it goes on care fees.
If you want to make sure your DSC or future DC inherit then it has to be direct.

When I didn't have DC it went to my husband but with 10% each to my siblings

Now I have DC its in trust for them. Not a penny is going to my DSC.

Please get proper IHT advice. It is so easy for things to go wrong if you don't.

My assets are split 50% to my DH and 25% to each DSC. I have no biological children. This was the case pre marriage and has continued post marriage. This is the same throughout my will, my pension and other policies.

If I do have a biological child, DH share will reduce to 40% and each child will get 20%.

DH has always been aware of my intentions and is happy with this.

It's likely I won't have any biological children (for medical reasons).

My assets go to DH and just my DC. Nothing to DSC but they will inherit half of DH’s assets and presumably from their mother.

You may find lots of posters saying they wouldn’t dream of excluding DSCs. But every family dynamic is different so do what’s best for you and your family and don’t be pushed into anything either way.

I echo @MeridianB sentiment. Do what is right for you. My set up works for me and my family but it wouldn't suit everyone.

Yes, it’s grim but all scenarios need considering. If you’re both in a car crash and you die before DH, follow the path of where the assets would go and make sure you’re happy.

I always recommend getting will advice from a solicitor who is a Step member: www.step.org.

Also if you have a pension, however small, make sure you complete the form that informs the trustees of who your pension should be paid to if you dropped dead tomorrow.

Otherwise they have to guess and will likely give your money to your nearest full-blood relations.

Thank you everyone, you've given me a lot to consider. We're definitely getting proper advice - I want to be sure I understand every avenue before I commit to it.

I need to think some more around the fact my DSC will inherit from my DP, their Mum and both sets of grandparents. I don't have any grandparents alive and my parents will have little to leave me, let alone a grandchild so perhaps a token amount to my DSC and the rest split between DP and biological child 🧐

Anyone got any clauses about their wishes changing if their DP was to remarry?

Leave your assets to your child, don't rely on your husband to honour your wishes. In your circumstances I'd leave a token to DSC and have an insurance policy to pay out to your DH, but that capital you have is for your child.

Anyone got any clauses about their wishes changing if their DP was to remarry? hello yes I do. Mine is in trust so my DH can live in the house until he dies or remarries then it is passed on to DC. There's also stuff in there about how the trustees can allow him to downsize and stuff. He can live off the income of my estate and do what he likes with that but the capital has to be released by the trustees. Find a solicitor who is STEP certified if you are in England.

I know it’s not unusual to have things set up so a partner can live in a house until they die then the proceeds of the house are distributed to the kids but I think it’s the type of thing that can cause a lot of problems. Repairs/moving new partners etc. I’d try and avoid it if possible.

Im not a legal person though so just advice - we’ve loads of old people in my DHs family and lots of shenanigans with wills, houses, care home fees etc.

Personally, I don't think I'd mind my money going towards a new home etc if my DP was to remarry. But I think he'd be the opposite and want his share of the family home to go to his kids if I remarried

You can’t add any clause that would change the beneficiaries if one of them marries. If your DP inherits your estate, then plans to remarry, what’s to stop him ‘spending’ all his inheritance before the wedding to avoid having to pay it back?

Your dh doesn’t own the house though, does he? So he hasn’t inherited it.

I'm sure you know this, but any will you make now will automatically be invalid if you marry (unless you make it shortly before the marriage and clearly state that it's being made in anticipation of your marriage), so you would either need to make a new one then or just let your estate be distributed according to the intestacy laws if that would achieve the same result. Once you are married, the default position is that your spouse gets everything if there are no children of the marriage. Your stepchildren would get nothing unless you adopt them and then they would get a portion of the estate if it was big enough.

I don't have direct experience of the complications a stepfamily brings but having read a good few MN threads about this, I'd definitely be getting a will drawn up by a solicitor with experience in this area.

Thank you. Yes, I'd have the will rewritten when we get married and if we have a child together.

You can get it written with a clause in anticipation of your marriage.