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What do your children call their step dad?

51 replies

thisisit77 · 01/08/2022 20:28

What do your children call their step dad? Their first name? Or something different?

OP posts:
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Natsku · 08/08/2022 14:13

DD calls him by a nickname (every so often she changes the nickname but the first one "Haha" stuck so much that that's what I call him as well)

CornishGem1975 · 08/08/2022 14:13

They have a pet name for him based on his real name.

ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 08/08/2022 14:20

By his name, but the truncated, family pet name version of his name (ie Danny rather than Daniel which everyone else calls him.) NB - not the real name, but like with Dan/Danny sounds similar to Dad or Daddy which has caused some confusion in the past.
Their actual dad is fully involved in their lives so doubt this will ever change.

maddy68 · 08/08/2022 14:23

First name

BecauseICan22 · 08/08/2022 14:32

Dad.

Completely their own choice to do so.

prepared101 · 08/08/2022 15:04

I call my stepdad Dad but he's been my stepdad for 35/36 years and I've never had a relationship with bio dad.

Some people think it's weird but If he could have adopted me he would have and then no one would think it strange. He couldn't legally adopt me without bio-dad agreeing and he was AWOL which was absolutely for the best and my mum didn't want to be in contact in case he tried to see me (she was right to do this- he wasn't a nice person)

ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/08/2022 15:09

Non biological father 🙄

gogohmm · 08/08/2022 15:14

Names here but we're over 18. They called their step grandparents by their name too - can't see any reason to do it differently.

Friends kids do call her dp dad but it took a long time their choice

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 09/08/2022 10:55

I have two SDs (2 & 6 when I moved in, 7 and 12 now.) They call me a pet name (that I've had since birth within my own family.) I also have a daughter aged 3.

They see their dad every other weekend for two nights.

The younger one has started referring to me as dad when talking to others - sometimes.

The older one never has, although we've talked about the nature of our relationship a lot as she likes to discuss things which I think is healthy.

Unfortunately as she's aged several challenges have shown themselves - ADHD, reduced learning capability, Dyscalculia, Dyslexia, impaired executive functions - a real cocktail. She frequently has meltdowns. This has tied up a lot of wife's time and meant that me, toddler and SD7 are together a lot. I don't really feel a great difference in my bond between my own daughter and her, and the two of them are really, really close (partners in crime would be my best description...)

Obviously if the three of us are playing, SD7 will refer to me as 'Dad' when talking to my daughter.

In other scenarios, when she's talking to other people, I think that she's testing the water - not confused by who is who at all, just pushing to make sure she won't get the rejection of "don't refer to me as that, don't call me that."

She's a middle child with a toddler sister and a SEN sister, which is hard enough already. I do respect her real dad but there isn't a fucking chance I'll correct her and risk causing even the smallest feeling of rejection or hurt. She doesn't remember me not being in her life.

Their dad finds it easier as the kids get older. I suspect over time she'll bond more strongly with him, and that's obviously great.

thisisit77 · 19/08/2022 23:11

@NewLevelsOfTiredness thank you for sharing that. I'm in a similiar situation so that helped

OP posts:
MercuryOnTheRise · 19/08/2022 23:20

His name but I was 21 when mother married him - third husband.

13 years later I had DS. They though DS and DD were going to call him Grandad. My father was still alive then. Huge argent with my mother ensued.

"He's my husband, why can't they call him 'grandad xxx'."

"Because he isn't their grandad. He is not a blood relative and he's certainly not my father". Oh the grumpiness that ensued.

weegiemum · 19/08/2022 23:29

I call my stepmum (from when I was15) by her name. But over the intervening years she's been far more of a mum to me than my estranged maternal parent. So if I'm on the phone I ask to speak to my lively mummy. It makes her cry a week bit sometimes, but she's awesome and I need her to know she's my mum in every possible way except birth!

steppppp · 20/08/2022 11:52

Daddy - he never sees his dad who he refers to as 'dad'. he tells people he has two dads.

TheGetaway · 20/08/2022 20:58

MercuryOnTheRise · 19/08/2022 23:20

His name but I was 21 when mother married him - third husband.

13 years later I had DS. They though DS and DD were going to call him Grandad. My father was still alive then. Huge argent with my mother ensued.

"He's my husband, why can't they call him 'grandad xxx'."

"Because he isn't their grandad. He is not a blood relative and he's certainly not my father". Oh the grumpiness that ensued.

My DH is ‘Grandad’ to his stepsons (my DS) children and I have absolutely no obj cation to my sons stepmum being ‘Nana’. I think it’s lovely

Holidaydreamingagain · 21/08/2022 17:12

I call my step mum her name but my step sisters have always called my dad “dad”. They’re in their 40’s now and see their dad but for some reason they started calling my dad “dad” soon after our parents got together 40 years ago. Interestingly my dad never objected and it was natural but he absolutely wouldn’t let them change their surname to his

ofwarren · 21/08/2022 17:14

His name

QueenofLouisiana · 21/08/2022 17:27

I call mine just name, but I would introduce him and my mum as “my parents”, I buy “Dad” cards and DS calls him Grandad.

I have regular contact with my father and bizarrely his wife will ask how my Mum and Dad are- referring to my step-dad.

weegiemum · 21/08/2022 23:26

I call my stepmum (since I was 15 and I was living with my dad) by her name, but now that I have no contact with my mother I refer to her and my dad as "my parents". I often call her my wicked stepmother or lovely mummy!

VodkaSodaLime · 22/08/2022 09:47

Love that @weegiemum! My SD calls me her evil stepmel! (Very tongue in cheek - we get on really well 😂)

Daisydu · 04/04/2023 18:41

His name.

thegrain · 04/04/2023 20:07

My DSDs call their stepdad and me (stepmum) by our names

Soopermum1 · 05/04/2023 14:59

A nickname based on his first name, so she's the only one to use it. Kinda evolved, and came from her. it's quite cute.

Nottodaty · 05/04/2023 15:11

My step parents I just call them their names, my children the same.

On my husband side he never called his Step-mum as anything but her name and she has been in his life since he was 4. Though our children call her Granny ‘name’ - but she really really treats them as her own, equal to her own grandchildren. My children have chose to call her Granny. I know this upsets my MiL - but the children absolutely adore (step) Granny & she never expected them to call her Granny she feels very honoured.

saltandpepper86 · 23/04/2023 06:30

my eldest DS calls his stepmum (my wife) a foreign word for mother from the country of her origin (ie Mutti if she was german - its not this)

My youngest DS calls her by her name but say he's with friends he will say "I'm going to ring my Mum" and then ring DW.

also they call her Mum (so step grandma) her real name but have her saved in their phones as Grandma "Betty"

caringcarer · 23/04/2023 09:29

His Christian name. He has been the stepdad to my youngest since he was 8 years old. They get on well. Today he is going over to help the youngest son with the DIY for the house he just bought. Both my boys buy him a Father's Day card though.