Navigating step child and my child's relationship

[Genericusername12]

Okay so might sound like a bit of an odd one, but my daughter and my SO's son are very close in age and neither of us can work out their relationship and how to promote a healthy sibling-like bond without pushing it on them too much. Sometimes they're like chalk and cheese and other times they get on absolutely fantastically and it's gorgeous to see. However on at least two occasions they have ran off and kissed somewhere, said they're in love and that they're going to get married and although I'm not too worried I think we're both at a bit of a loss at how to navigate this as neither of us have been in this situation before. I think boundaries need to be set in order for them to realise they're closer to being brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend. Just looking for advice from parents/ step parents who have been in the same situation on how to approach this!

What agr are they?

Their age really plays how this goes I suspect they are young. I wouldn't worry to much girls and boys often become repealed by each other when they get little older !

5 and 6 x

Honestly it sounds like normal siblings. Siblings 1yr apart go from hating and trying to kill each other to loving each other quite quickly. Many 6yos talk about marrying people they shouldn't (like their fave parent). They also play wedding with friends. Marriage and kissing to them is about love and care, they don't understand the sexual undertones. All of that will come naturally with age, don't put barriers in unless a kid is uncomfortable. Don't ascribe adult motivations to little kids playing at adulting.
Leave it alone keep an eye that it's an equal relationship and not one person bullying or controlling a lot of the time.
Everything you said above seems quite good and normal.

5 & 6? I'd tell them people can't marry their siblings

You can actually marry step-relations as they aren't blood related to you.

However most people bought up in the same household as step-siblings and cousins don't do that as it would be like marrying a sibling.

Ok this is a New Zealand example but people can emigrate - www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/9525021/married-my-step-brother-we-have-four-kids/

Eh they’re 5 & 6. My dd is 6 and she’d marry our postman, Owlette, her dad, me etc etc. I think when they’re that young they see ‘marry’ as just ‘love and live with’ type of thing.

How long have you and your partner been together?

Oh right OK. Maybe tell them to cool it with the kissing.

DS said he wanted to marry me when he was about that age! I wouldn't worry much about it tbh - I might go with the "kissing, blurgh!!!" type of response to discourage that particular one but suspect they'll soon grow out of it. My youngest DD and DSS have known each other since they were 7 and definitely have a very normal sibling relationship - at ease with each other and definitely wouldn't ever have fancied each other (they're late teens now). They swabbed and fought when younger. Their older siblings who were 10+ when they met have a slightly cooler relationship I'd say - not a bad one but not quite the same sibling closeness as the younger two - they wouldn't be comfortable sat next to each other squished up on the sofa for instance and never played physical games together. But when they get to know each other young and especially if they live together quite a lot then step siblings can develop quite normal, close sibling relationships I think.

I think it's very normal for children that age to want to marry everyone. I imagine they'll grow out of it.