Where can we get help?

[MeImAllSmiles]

Dh and I are on the verge of splitting. We are a step family, he has three children living with us, I have two. We seriously need some step-parenting help but I don't know where to find it, any ideas very welcome.

What help do you need hun? If you wanna talk I am all ears, I have 2 stepchildren and 2 of my own xx

Thanks always. I really think the need professional help, someone to guide and mediate. We simply cannot discuss the children without having a hugh argument. I know it is natural for each parent to want to 'protect' their child but we are driving each other away. We just simply have lost the plot. I'm going to Relate, dh won't but is willing to see someone about how to deal with the children, so I am hopeful.

How about contacting Parentline, their website is www.parentlineplus.org.uk or their number is 0808 800 2222, I haven't had any dealings with them but just wanted to help.

If you just wanna chat or let off some steam, feel free to pm me and I will give you my email address.

Big hugs, I hope you get something sorted soon xx

ask for an urgent referral for family therapy, it does exist it is out there you all get to go!

Thanks everyone. I'm putting up with rubbish like tonight sd asked to go to shops to get magazine but wouldn't get one for my daughter, she said she already had to carry one!!! Spoke to parentline, they apparently don't/can't advise they just listen, was very disappointed by this. Do you get family therapy via gp?

I can't remember for sure but I think it was via gp.

How long have you been together? It is meant to take 5 years for a stepfamily to shake down together.

Dp and I often squabbled about the children when we first met, but it does seem to have gone, although when your back is against the wall, you will protect your dc.

Perhaps if you acknowledge that you both feel protective to your own dc, but that some issues need to be resolved which may upset the other party a bit. Then try and talk about it calmly.

Blending into a step family is very very hard, and none of the issues you expect to cause troulble do, whereas other unexpected ones hijack you

fizzbuzz, we gave been together about 3 years now, we just seem to argue about everything, doesn't help that I am feeling seriousy down now but it is good to know that things can settle down. I am so worried that this is the end.

You can get help via GP. It is a tragedy that there is so little help for stepfamilies, it is so hard. ESPECIALLY in your situation when all dc's live with you, there is no let up (All ours live with us)

Re your dsd and magazine issue. we had exactly this, when my dss wouldn't buy a subway sandwich for my ds as he didn't want to carry 2. Dp had a go at him and he fetched 2. However, if your dsd is old enough to get a magazine from the shop, I guess she must be somewhere in her teens, and this is typical teenage behaviour.

Try and seperate the behaviour from the stepfamily business, and pick your battles, try not to war over everything.

5 years is the minimum time it takes. 10 years is the time it takes to establish everything.

HTH