Weekends counting as school holidays?

[JaneyHenderson]

DH has a recent court order which stipulates term time contact- EWO with some midweek contact on a two week pattern. Basically 6/14 night so not quite 50/50.
School holidays have always been 50/50 and amicable so aren't specifically outlined in the court order- it just says equally shared.
ExW has sent the proposed calendar for the next year and has done some random suggestions like she has both weekends of a half term with DH having Mon 9am to Fri 4pm.
So my question is- do weekends count as part of school holidays? Or it it the Monday to the Friday?
Google tells me it's up to parents to agree so wondering what others do?
TIA

I'd say it's unfair of her to try to claim both weekends around half term - presumably that's to save herself taking time off work while your DH has to take the whole week?

One of those weekends is your DH's as part of the usual rotation per the court order so he definitely doesn't need to agree to her having both if it doesn't work for him.

As a rule, when my DP has his children for half term/part of it, if his weekend is at the start of the week he will get them on Friday as usual and then keep them until the agreed day - or pick them up part-way through the week and then keep them until Sunday if his weekend is the 2nd one.

In my experience, i's usually best to try and stick to the usual EOW pattern if possible as otherwise it usually ends up with the NRP not seeing them for an extra week, although that might not be relevant in your situation if it's nearly 50/50.

I agree with pp.

do either of the child's parents have a holiday for them booked? Id consider that worthy of stealing a weekend before or after a school holiday.

I habe similar 8/14 arrangement. We spilt all holidays in half. So for half term, I would get Friday to Tuesday he would get the rest of the week, if my weekend fell first. Christmas alternative weeks.
Summer and Easter we talk and arrange a few weeks at a time, depending on travel.

Agree with glittery

One of those weekends is his court ordered contact time so it can't be removed.

However if you're happy with her arrangement I'd get it written down somewhere that was her proposal to cover yourselves if needed.

So I co-parent 50-50 and we split the whole time away from school down the middle.
Eg this half term is him Saturday to Wednesday mid day and me Wednesday mid day to Sunday.
Otherwise it's unequal in terms of work time needed to be accounted for, which is the biggest hassle.

I don't think you should get caught up in what "counts". If you can make the ExW's proposal work great, if not then you need to have a discussion. Having some flexibility in parenting arrangements benefits everyone, including the children as they get older and start to have their own social life.

DH and his ex stick half of half term on to "his" weekend usually.

If there's holiday or a family gathering planned there is shuffling to account for this.

Thank you for reposes everyone
A few clarifications:
No context has been given regarding the randomness of a half term in terms of holidays booked etc. There will likely be a reason but their communication isn't great so she hasn't shared what that is.

They have usually done, like PP, the Friday after school to the Wednesday midday depending on whose weekend was first. She just seems to have gone a bit rogue this time. They are both teachers so childcare not an issue.
And, I agree, flexibility is absolutely best- I am lucky to have this arrangement with my ExH.
But unfortunately DH has had to beg, negotiate, argue and eventually go to court for every second with DSC. ExW was not in agreement and has always been very controlling with contact. It's always on her terms.
When we looked more closely at the overnights earlier, it's seems that it's not 50/50 as stipulated in court order. So DH has suggested some extra dates in order to bring his contact time in line with her suggestion.

Neither party has to give any context. She might just want to go out and get pissed with her mates or she might have some house viewings lined up. Really none of that matters though. If there's a holiday and thay affects the child then yes it would be helpful to know as then the other partner might feel more like helping out!

Why does she get to write the timetable?
You have lives & jobs too don't you?
My DHs ex was just like this. Totally inflexible until it suited her.
Maybe send the timetable back with a few amendments of you left own!

She does not get to write the timetable but someone has to start the conversation -and in this family she has. Yes she has put what she would like - now it is the chance of the DF to put what he wants and they negotiate.

He could have done it first and therefore, effectively has the upper hand - hopefully he will remember for next year!

I used to e mail my EX with his first new DP all dates for a year in advance. Included 6 weekends that I knew I was working etc
Never got a response - until usually the day before a weekend to say no not looking after my own child
Holidays were the same usually 3 weeks before the dates I wanted - got an e mail telling me they had booked x - always co incided with my dates or overlapped them. Abusive phone calls ensued. I gave in once lost £1200 and never gave in again.
New SM - I told her I knew roughly what I wanted for the whole year, she said brilliant lets plan and we sit look at the calendar and mix and match - so much more mature approach.

My DH has a 6/14 and I have a 7/14 arrangement. Weekends during the holidays follow the exact same pattern as the rest of the year - one on, one off. Our days in the week stay the same too. It's up to each parent to arrange relevant childcare on their time if they can't accommodate. Only changes happen if someone is going on holiday.

I think if they could have done any of that they wouldn’t have needed to get a court order.