How do you do presents?

[Bettyboop2530]

Hi all, just wondering how everyone does presents for DC & DSC. Eg do you spend the same amount on each child regardless of where they live and who parents are, or do children you have with partner get more to compensate for DSC having gifts of their other parents?
I'm hoping the 11 year gap between my DS and DSS is big enough that my DS won't understand the concept of money and that DSS has more spent purely because he asks for more expensive things like Nike & Adidas clothes, ps5 games etc.

All of ours get the same money spent on them, the older one is given money and if what they want is more expensive then they have to save up for it. We buy the younger ones toys etc, if what we buy is under budget the remainder goes into their savings account. We just found that works best, we were spending 100s and 100s on the eldest cause he wanted more expensive stuff but it just got out of hand so we set a limit for each child.

I buy DSC small gifts and my own a large one.
DH buys them all the same size gift. It's easier than trying to work out anything else.

Agree, set a limit or it can easily get out if hand

My partner and I have our own children. He has an agreement with their mum that they each spend x amount so it totals a decent amount rather than both going mad.
I spend the total amount on my son as he doesn't have another parent.
We have our own child together and spend the total amount.
All our children all get the same spent on them but my partners kids have their mum spending half that amount. If that makes sense.

Thank you all. We definitely have a budget set for each child and like to be frugal when I can. I like the idea of giving money to eldest to learn to save and putting money away for youngest.

We spend the same; that means that DSD gets more than our DC through the different homes but my DC are too young to notice and to be honest there are very few perks to having separated parents so I consider this one of the very few. My DC may get less presents but they don’t have to shuttle between their parents and I’ll happily explain that to them if they do question it in the future

We have 2 teen dc/sdc and 1 younger dc. We spend more on older two as they want more expensive things. They do get from their dad too so definitely do well. Once younger dc is more aware we will spend same.

We don't really think too much about it but we have a large age gap like you.

We don't go crazy on either but we don't set a strict amount either.

It all tends to even out anyway as I save throughout the year for our DC whereas DH doesn't for DSC so they have much more in savings then my step child does, my parents also go mad on our DC but tend to get DSC a smaller token gift but then DSC go home and get spoilt by their mum and her parents so it all tends to even out really.

If they were closer in age we'd probably do the thing above and do a budget for each child. As it stands my DC is young so would be fine with £40 of toys and not notice at all, whereas DSC presents would cost a lot more.

However I rarely contribute much at all to DSC presents. DH will pay for half of our child's and I might put a small amount towards DSC but I expect him to be able to afford it himself if he wants to get him something like an Xbox or whatever!

Don't really think about it, I pay for what they need/want. DH buys for his kids, I buy for mine. It might not be the same amount.

Probably about the same, though we don't have a set budget we just buy what seems about right, usually less than £100 or only a bit over. We've never bought the kind of expensive items you've mentioned for DSS and I can't imagine that massively changing as he gets older - we wouldn't buy him a console of his own for example, we have family consoles. We'd buy him games for it.

Before I met my husband, I never really thought about balancing present budgets of numbers. My ex and I just bought things for the kids that would make for a nice Christmas. It just wasn’t an issue at all. My eldest DS was his stepson.

Sadly, that relationship ended and after some time I met my now husband. Presents became an issue with my husband and his Disney dad, animal farm (all children are equal but his children from his first marriage are more equal than others) attitude to presents. Anything spent on my sons (including his baby) was to be interrogated for ‘fairness’ to the SC. But nothing was ever good enough so they’d always end up with more (and they were never grateful for it either).

Just exhausting. And unnecessary. The year before last I stuck to my allocated £100 budget for my DSes. I suggested buying

I thought having entirely unblended it might have become easier. But still I got sniping about having spent any (of my own) money on my DSes and there was so much bullshit about me having given up trying to discuss getting the toddler a scooter so I just bought what I wanted.

In the end, his father tried to one up me by buying a ridiculous electric ride on car for the toddler (which to this day he will not even sit in because he’s scared of it). Maybe he should have talked to me and maybe believed that I knew what sort of thing the toddler would like. 🤣

It shouldn’t be such hard work. Really. The problem is people with a chip on their shoulder in relation to SC.

Partner & I each have our own child. I never ask him to buy for my child & I don't buy for his that's his job. If he does ask me to buy his child presents for bday Xmas I always will but he gives me the Money. Both of us will buy our dc a token present but have separate finances so everything I earn I spend on my child so does he. When we have our own dc that will b split.
My dc father doesn't give sweet fa die our child so it's down to me. Where as my partner & ex both spend so much on their child but that's their child their choice .

My DH has two and I have one. They all get the same amount of cash and a few small gifts. Tbh, my son usually does end up with a bit more but that's just because he's here and I'll see something I think he'd like. I don't feel guilty though as DSC have a massive bio family and a dad (my DH) who actually cares. My DS has only got me and my mum and his dad doesn't give a shit. My DH is far more of a dad than DS's bio dad. Point being, yes he gets a bit more but so what?

I have two kids and partner has three from previous relationship. None together.

I earn the majority of our household income and usually end up doing 95% of the present buying (purely because I enjoy it and DP doesn’t) and always try and hit the same budget / amount per child, regardless of whether they’re mine or hers.

Hers do get more overall because their Dad earns very well and tends to splash out on them, but that’s by the by. IMO what they get from him shouldn’t impact being fair / equitable in our house.