Hands on but want hands off

[Cassavaflower]

Ugh this is such a weird one.
I'm very happily married, love my husband, no intention of leaving him. His boys are mostly sweet but sometimes very touchy feely. The older one, who is six, looked down my top down and sneakily sometimes tries to touch me. I move away immediately and shout "No! That's private!' One time he said 'oh why can I never touch girls?' Which was a bit weird. Their gran says he does the same to her. Their dad is horrified and reiterates that it's private as does their gran but they still do it. Advice pls.

I hate to ask the question. But I don't suppose he was exposed to abusive behaviour when he was as younger or possibly been abused.

Theirs curiosity and mimicking. Yours sounds like the latter, I would be taking him to a therapist to figure out what the cause of it is.

This doesn't sound normal ?

Agree this doesnt sound normal

I can't see my 6 year old doing this at all! Have the school mentioned anything about any inappropriate behaviour that has occurred? Kids don't appreciate boundaries and some are worse than others. I would be slightly concerned for myself and put myself in a position where he can get too close. I would perhaps try to explain that he can't do x y and z on female or males.

The problem is how to broach. Their mum is hostile and only complains about the dads parenting. Heaven forfend that there should be an issue that we raise. The gran also minimises and thinks they are just curious. It makes me feel sick and obviously I don't want to cuddle on the sofa with them. The younger one is also too touchy feely. I do know their mum had a hard childhood and some of her family members are messed up but again my partner will be shot down if he brings up the concern with his ex. Plus they hardly like coming to us anyway I feel like if I make a fuss then my husband won't see his kids at all! So hard to know what to do. Thanks

Contact the NSPCC for advice?

Having had 3 dc I too agree that this doesn't sound normal. The initial curiosity is but the persisting behaviour isn't. I'm not in the UK but as @Moochio has suggested going to a body like the NSPCC for advice may be the way to go.