Really sick of DSC at the moment.

[GrowingTuff]

I've got one child with my husband and he has two older children from his past relationship. Our child is 1, his older two are 11 & 13.

I'm really struggling at the moment. They used to be such lovely children and we got on so well. It's not that we now don't but I just can't stand it when they stay anymore. It's the arguing and fighting (often phsycial!) Between them when they are here it's horrible and frankly really fucking annoying.

I know it's likely normal teen/pre teen behaviour between siblings but it's seriously affecting how I feel and I'm not sure what to do.

For about the last 6 months I absolutely despise them coming to us, they live here 50:50 and nothing about it is enjoyable. My husband spends the entire time like a referee, the moaning and whinging and "they did this, they did that" just grates on me.

I know they are exactly the same at their mum's too.

We've had one or two occasions where for various reasons only one has come for the night and it's been bliss. Like how it used to be us having a laugh and so on. When they are here together though (99% of the time) it's shit.

I honestly can't be arsed anymore. I just ignore it now if DH is off somewhere else in the house and j hear an argument break out. I just am passed caring about who breathed on the other or whatever other silly shit it's about.

Sorry needed to rant.

So the solution is to mess up their mothers life rather than their father disciplining his DCS appropriately.

You have DP issue not a normal teen issue

@Finallylostit

So the solution is to mess up their mothers life rather than their father disciplining his DCS appropriately.

You have DP issue not a normal teen issue

How does it mess up their mothers life? That's a tad dramatic! Just give the kids 1 day off from each other. If mum and dad get a break from them then they might want a day off from each other.

This sounds like pretty normal teen behaviour. I can imagine it's worse when they're not yours.

What does your husband actually do about it besides moaning ,whinging and tattling?
You know, the actual parenting side like rules,boundaries,consequences,looking for solutions etc.

@Finallylostit

So the solution is to mess up their mothers life rather than their father disciplining his DCS appropriately.

You have DP issue not a normal teen issue

Oh. It’s stepparenting. Contact is about giving mum a break. Obviously. Being a parent all the time would clearly mess up her life. 🙄

Maybe a bit of a break from each other would be healthy for them.

Although I agree that some parenting to make it clear that constant fighting and looking for referees is not ok would not go amiss.

That's teens for you.

Be grateful you don't have them full time.

@Willyoujustbequiet

That's teens for you.

Be grateful you don't have them full time.

That's not particularly helpful

@HumptyDumpty2022 exactly its an odd thing to say.

@HumptyDumpty2022

Because plenty of families both nuclear and single parents have to deal with stroppy teens full time and don't have the luxury of a break 50% of the time.

@KatsuKatsu

I thought the same about your response tbh. Strange.

[quote Willyoujustbequiet]@KatsuKatsu

I thought the same about your response tbh. Strange.[/quote]
Fair enough. It takes all sorts to make a world.

[quote HumptyDumpty2022]@Willyoujustbequiet
But we’re talking about step parents, not the same as a single mum who gave birth to her children or nuclear family. Why should a step parent have the child full time when they have two parents? Sorry I had to point this blindingly obvious fact out to you.[/quote]
It’s the double standard. SM is supposed to act like contact is 24/7, just in case - and be delighted about it. But mum needs a break. 🤷🏻‍♀️