DSD has completely blocked us out of hers and our DGC lives.
DGS is 2 and has seen us at least twice a week his whole life and often more. He has disabilities and during first wave of covid the complex care team were unable to get out so told DSD that I could support her more (even though at that point there were no bubbles). Other DGC is only 6 months and whilst seen him at least weekly I know he will not likely remember us). I am torn between hoping DGS 1 doesn't really remember us and being heartbroken that he won't.
Her reasons for this are:
I refused to agree with her on an issue of kicking their dad out because he went out with her DB and SDB (this was something she arranged) and he didn't get home until 2.00am (none of them did). She was already angry and told me I shouldn't have spoken to her while she was angry (she had called me, I called her back and she put the phone down on me when I tried to explain that I knew she was angry but me her and DB GF went out from 9.30am until 8.00pm drinking so it may have been during the day but it was for longer than they had been out and DSD was wasted and her DP looked after the kids no problem).
When I called her out on the way she acted she told me it was my fault if my feelings were hurt because I was being dramatic and oversensitive and knew she was angry.
She is NC with her DM as she thinks she is toxic and as she got older understood that her DM used her and her DB as a stick to beat DH with constantly. Her DM constantly fell out with her own DM and DSIS and DSD hated that they had family one minute and then the next minute had no family because DM was arguing with them and hated the way DM tried to poison (her words) hers and her DB mind against everyone all the time.
When she first said she was blocking us and we weren't allowed to see the DGC DH told her she was acting like her mom and that it was not fair on us or the DGC. She responded by blocking him. DH then retaliated by changing his netflix password later that week as he said she was an adult living with her own DP and kids and if she was blocking him he was no longer paying for her Netflix - she has gone even more mental over this.
She told her DB (he lives with us) that she was planning on blocking me because I had posted some pics on Saturday of my other DGS (DS LO). Her DB said she was being stupid, that they didn't kick off when I posted pics of her kids and it was literally 3 pics saying early morning smiles, no passive aggressive or even mention that it was DGS. This is her Nephew who she says she adores and she knew he was staying at ours that weekend. She told her DB that we (including him) and all a fake ass family and she wants nothing to do with any of us.
I am so heartbroken over DGC, I am equally heartbroken over her, I have been in her life since she was 4, I was right there at the hospital with her there when she had DGS. Stayed with her the night when DGS had to be transferred to another hospital to be in NICU and then went everyday for the whole time he was still in hospital (not saying this because I want a reward, just trying to show that even though I am only SM, I have been very active in her life).
She had anxiety and PTSD after first child and came off tablets to have 2nd. We talked a couple of months ago about how she was feeling and if she needed to go back on them as she was showing extreme reactions again but she said she didn't think she did. Now she has completely cut us out I am worried about how this is also going to impact on her mental health, she has such a hard life and now has no help at all and I don't know how to help her anymore or even how to just distance myself mentally and stop thinking about the situation.
How do you break away mentally?