Child protection

private21 · 2022-03-16T10:33:56+00:00

If a child is put on child protection because of bm partner and him not being allowed around kids because of dv and physically assaulting children and bm seeing him being no threat or harm and wanting to carry on the relationship (ss involved and have a call this week for the best outcome) she says he's hard to handle at home (child) and basically chooses her partner over him (this has been going on couple of years) both failed parenting assessments but they have no concerns with me and his dad and never have had them involved with us just for updates. Do you think we would get full care because of this as that's what we're going for in this call as we think that's best for child's safety and happiness he's never happy to go home and has real attachment to me and his dad.

Baaaa · 16/03/2022 11:10

If that's what dad thinks is best then ask for it and see what they say. I imagine it's the mum and dad they are most interested in.

Original poster

private21 · 16/03/2022 11:19

@Baaaa

If that's what dad thinks is best then ask for it and see what they say. I imagine it's the mum and dad they are most interested in.

They are only doing this due to the relationship she's in and because the partner is a risk to children there's nothing on dads side and they have no issues as they've stated all the way through

OP posts:

Tattler2 · 16/03/2022 11:30

OP, rather than trying to guess, why doesn't dad just ask the CPS worker what are the possible outcomes of the situation ? That way he gets an answer from the person most informed about the facts of the situation.

Baaaa · 16/03/2022 11:32

@Tattler2

OP, rather than trying to guess, why doesn't dad just ask the CPS worker what are the possible outcomes of the situation ? That way he gets an answer from the person most informed about the facts of the situation.

I agree I think that's best. There will be so many factors they take into consideration.

Original poster

private21 · 16/03/2022 11:51

@Tattler2

OP, rather than trying to guess, why doesn't dad just ask the CPS worker what are the possible outcomes of the situation ? That way he gets an answer from the person most informed about the facts of the situation.

We have asked but we've got to wait for the call as it isn't just ss involved, we've also had his child in our care through ss before so just trying to prepare for what's to come really and have some advice so no I'm not guessing I'm just looking for people that may have been in this situation and understand what happens also the safety of the child is a worry so if you don't have any advice or anything please don't state the obvious as we have done everything

OP posts:

Blendiful · 16/03/2022 19:48

If dad has PR he doesn’t have to send the child back to mother if he feels they aren’t safe there. She can apply through court to get them back in her care but it sounds like the court would likely be in favour of child remaining with dad if all info is given.

However obviously if child has contact she can do the same back. So ideally getting a proper order or agreement with social care in place would be better as the child will have consistency and not be in the middle of a battle then.

If mother is adamant about staying with her partner it is likely that SS would prefer the child live with dad if that’s a safe place with safe people. But it needs to be done officially through the courts for stability.

Original poster

private21 · 16/03/2022 21:10

@Blendiful

If dad has PR he doesn’t have to send the child back to mother if he feels they aren’t safe there. She can apply through court to get them back in her care but it sounds like the court would likely be in favour of child remaining with dad if all info is given.

However obviously if child has contact she can do the same back. So ideally getting a proper order or agreement with social care in place would be better as the child will have consistency and not be in the middle of a battle then.

If mother is adamant about staying with her partner it is likely that SS would prefer the child live with dad if that’s a safe place with safe people. But it needs to be done officially through the courts for stability.

That's what we're going for now ss have contacted us about it as there's a lot more concerns now with the relationship and she sees no risk and will not leave the relationship she's told them many times she wants him around her son and has had him there so we now have this call with everyone involved just so worrying even though there's no concerns on our end it's just heartbreaking to have to put a child through this

OP posts:

Littlepaws18 · 16/03/2022 21:32

It's a terrifying situation. You need to get a family solicitor, one who could apply for at first a prohibited steps order. This means the child's main residence is with you. It doesn't mean he can't stay with his mum, but until he's 18, he lives with you.

Depending on the situation I would seriously be thinking about not letting him back to his mums home until there is a certainty that her partner is not there. Though I can't understand why SS would allow this to happen anyway. If they know the facts why have they not removed him from her care already? Something doesn't add up, make sure you have concrete evidence before you act.

Original poster

private21 · 16/03/2022 22:41

@Littlepaws18

It's a terrifying situation. You need to get a family solicitor, one who could apply for at first a prohibited steps order. This means the child's main residence is with you. It doesn't mean he can't stay with his mum, but until he's 18, he lives with you.

Depending on the situation I would seriously be thinking about not letting him back to his mums home until there is a certainty that her partner is not there. Though I can't understand why SS would allow this to happen anyway. If they know the facts why have they not removed him from her care already? Something doesn't add up, make sure you have concrete evidence before you act.

Ss contacted us and we have a meeting for an outcome tomorrow of what's going to happen and to raise all of our concerns they know that we are going forward with him coming home with us as we never actually knew the full extent until early this week after reading the report of it all and have had full support from ss with this as we have actually had him in our full care once before

OP posts:

Spandang · 21/03/2022 20:09

OP I’ve been here.

Social services will encourage you to take legal advice, they can’t give you legal advice.

But you should be aware if you know, and you do nothing, you could be culpable of neglect.

You need to take protective custody of the child. They do not go back to Mum’s.

You need to submit a prohibitive steps order removing her of her right to see the child and you should also submit an emergency C100 child arrangement order, IF not custody agreement exists.

You need to record and document every, single thing. And that’s because if Mum says she’s no longer seeing the man, then social services close the case and you are back to private court.

Even if she’s still seeing him, and lying to SS, you have to be able to document what is going on with evidence. You’ll need it for a later date.

I would recommend if she becomes abusive you phone the non-emergency police and ask to log it and red flag your address.

Be prepared that you may have to allow calls and contact. Be prepared that Mum is going to be an absolutely awful human to your step child, and take all the support you can get. It’s vile. Courts are backlogged and it’s a high threshold to take a child away from the parent.

Most of all, best honest with the child in an age appropriate way. Good luck. I don’t envy you, but it absolutely has to happen.

Original poster

private21 · 29/03/2022 17:38

@Spandang