Stepsons mum pays him to say love you

[NinaEmily]

Me and DH have a son who’s 1 and we co-parent a 5 year with his ex, he has never said love you to anyone really (he holds up 2 fingers and says this means love you) and he told us his mummy pays him a £1 every-time he says it. (DH asked and she confirmed she does)

He asked his dad (DH) if he would pay him or give him toys for saying it and his dad said no because you don’t love people for things you love them because you care for them.

Any thoughts on this?

Wtf? Doesn’t holding up two fingers mean sen thing completely different?!

That’s truly strange and desperate behaviour to pay her son for that.

Bit weird

As in he goes like 1 finger means I don’t love you, 2 fingers mean I do love you. Then he puts up 2 fingers.

It's a bit odd but I don't think it's harmful or anything. Not really worth you getting involved with. Just don't do it in your household.

@RosieSmith2975

As in he goes like 1 finger means I don’t love you, 2 fingers mean I do love you. Then he puts up 2 fingers.

Eh? Are you OP or is this a known thing?

Sounds odd but I'd just carry on doing what you're doing. Also I'd step away from coparenting with him and his ex. Just leave the two of them to coparent and you can support him.

Does he have any SEN?

Maybe she does it to encourage a bit of emotion, expressing feelings is a good thing, maybe she is trying to reinforce it.

Well that’s something that’s bound to backfire on her as he gets older…. Leave his mother to it, if she’s so desperate that she literally buys her child’s love then let her crack on. You and your husband certainly don’t have to participate in this nonsense.

It sounds a bit unusual tbh, does the DS have problems communicating in general? If he struggles to express himself or is non verbal then maybe she is desperate to encourage him to engage?

No he’s verbal and gives lots of cuddles and while a bit emotionally immature knows the difference between his emotions and will tell us. Mostly what he gets upset about is tidying up toys etc, the basics of a 5 year old really🤷🏼‍♀️