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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

It's another Covid one

24 replies

sunshinelover69 · 11/02/2022 12:54

DSS has been off school the last two days with a bad cold/suspected Covid. Negative LFTs but his mum hasn't bothered getting him a PCR. He says he feels better today and has gone back to school and he wants to come and stay tonight. I'm a bit uneasy as I don't really want to get ill. Am not afraid of Covid, I'd just rather not get it at the moment as I have stuff on that I don't want to miss. I kind of think he should get a PCR really but I seem to be alone in this. Would it be awful of me to just keep out of his way when he's here?

OP posts:

strawberrypotato · 11/02/2022 13:27

I don't think it would be awful to keep a slight distance, as long as it doesn't involve ignoring him or making him feel bad I think it's ok not to want to pass the germs around! I don't hug or kiss anyone when I'm ill anyway as I wouldn't want to pass it on to anyone else.

CornishGem1975 · 11/02/2022 14:17

I insisted on PCRs in a similar situation - not just for SC but for my own DC when they were due to come as we also have our DC living here full time, and it affects everyone.

However, now we're in a slightly different situation where we isolate less, it's a milder virus so I'd probably be a bit more relaxed and if LFTs are negative I'd roll with it but I'd keep my distance anyway - even if it's just a cold, I don't want that either thanks!

Glitterygreen · 11/02/2022 14:18

Na definitely keep out of the way! If you've got stuff you don't want to miss then it makes total sense to steer clear of someone who might have any bug currently.

NeesAndToes · 11/02/2022 16:33

I insisted on PCR for my own child's safety

ChoiceMummy · 11/02/2022 16:44

Not unreasonable, but imo if oh and any other children are having contact with sc, then it's futile. You're going to be sleeping in the same bed as oh etc.

bongobingo43 · 11/02/2022 19:54

His dad has as much responsibility to take him for a PCR of his mum does tbh.

Plus even if it was positive children with separated parents are allowed to travel between the 2 households

Original poster

sunshinelover69 · 11/02/2022 20:12

@bongobingo43

His dad has as much responsibility to take him for a PCR of his mum does tbh.

Plus even if it was positive children with separated parents are allowed to travel between the 2 households

He was at his mum's at the time though. And I know they're allowed to move between houses if they're positive, but it doesn't mean it's sensible 🙄

OP posts:

LethargicActress · 11/02/2022 20:16

If he has got it and he’s been to school and is feeling fine, then he basically has a cold. Would you really want to be someone that tries to stop their step son staying with his Dad because he has a glorified cold?

Original poster

sunshinelover69 · 11/02/2022 20:19

@LethargicActress

I'm not stopping him from coming. He's here. I'm just asking if it's reasonable to stay out of his way.

OP posts:

Cactuslove · 11/02/2022 20:22

You don't need to do a PCR now so I don't see why his mum would/should take him. He's had a negative LFT. Surely that's where it ends. He has a cold. Keep out of his way if you want but the whole covid thing is a bit of a red herring... if he had a stomach bug it seems like you'd take the same approach because you have stuff on and don't want to get ill. And that's fine by the way 😌 no one wants to get ill if it can be avoided 😊

NeesAndToes · 11/02/2022 20:54

@bongobingo43

His dad has as much responsibility to take him for a PCR of his mum does tbh.

Plus even if it was positive children with separated parents are allowed to travel between the 2 households

They are allowed but not encouraged. It's still a stupid thing to so unless unavoidable.

bongobingo43 · 11/02/2022 22:12

Well if he's with you now and you think he should have a PCR get his dad to take him for one.

Or are you only concerned about yourself so now that he's with you it's pointless?

Original poster

sunshinelover69 · 11/02/2022 22:28

Oh whatever @bongobingo43. You've clearly decided I'm in the wrong whatever I do or say, just because I'm a SM.

OP posts:

bongobingo43 · 11/02/2022 22:34

I'm just pointing out that you're criticising the mum for not taking him for a PCR test despite the fact his dad isn't taking him for one.

It's nothing to do with you being a SM (I'm a SM). It's about the obvious double standards that are always applied - much more is always expected of the mums, but of course it would never be expected of a dad

Original poster

sunshinelover69 · 12/02/2022 09:27

You've kind of missed the point though. He needed a PCR before he went back to school and came here to avoid sprrading it, if he does have it. I don't think everything is the mum's responsibility. I think it's the responsibility of the parent he happens to be with at the time.

OP posts:

bongobingo43 · 12/02/2022 09:29

But he's now with you and unless it's been 10 days is still at risk of spreading it to others.

So if you think he should've had a PCR before coming to yours, the only reason you now don't think he needs one, is that the only person you're concerned about him spreading it to is you?

NeesAndToes · 12/02/2022 09:50

@bongobingo43

Well if he's with you now and you think he should have a PCR get his dad to take him for one.

Or are you only concerned about yourself so now that he's with you it's pointless?

Well yes they could. But it is too late to prevent it spreading anywhere else like the OP's home isn't it?

Original poster

sunshinelover69 · 12/02/2022 09:50

He literally doesn't go anywhere except school and here. That ship has passed in terms of him potentially spreading it.

OP posts:

bongobingo43 · 12/02/2022 09:54

@NeesAndToes that's exactly my point. If she's only concerned about her own house then, yes it's too late. Not too late to get him tested for school on Monday.
Regardless if he was there on Friday he could still spread it to more people on Monday

bongobingo43 · 12/02/2022 09:55

If I was in work on Friday and felt rubbish, I wouldn't just go back in on Monday thinking "f*ck it, I was there on Friday. That shop has sailed" 🙄

Original poster

sunshinelover69 · 12/02/2022 12:00

You're determined to miss the point. He was with his mum when he first got ill. She gave zero shits and sent him to school/us. Of course I'm worried about my household getting infected - who wouldn't be?

OP posts:

Okbutnotgreat · 12/02/2022 12:53

I thought the rule now was that if it’s positive lft treat it as definitely covid and isolate, negative lft crack on as normal. No PCR needed.

bongobingo43 · 12/02/2022 13:15

@sunshinelover69

I get the point. The mum should've taken him for a PCR test (if that's the rules where you live), I'm not disputing that part.

However, she didn't. He's now with his dad. If you were worried about him passing it on you your household and in school and feel he should've had a PCR test, then why shouldn't his dad get him one now?

Unless you only care about your own household

CornishGem1975 · 12/02/2022 13:15

@Okbutnotgreat I think that's if no symptoms as LFT was only ever for asymptomatic testing anyhow. Symptoms = PCR. Or they was the case. I can't keep up.

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