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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Lazy Teenager

23 replies

Ginsta · 01/02/2022 06:32

I had a long shift rostered today so asked teenage stepson who is on school hols to wash, dry and put away the dirty dishes on the bench, he readily agreed which I was grateful for. BUT when I got home they had been poorly washed and not dried and put away. When I challenged him he said he was going to do it tomorrow. WTF! Anyone else feeling me on this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

QuirkyTurtle · 01/02/2022 08:15

I've never had teenage (step)children so can't relate, but definitely sounds like something I did to my own poor mother when I was a teenager.

It still bloody sucks though!

Firefliess · 01/02/2022 08:24

It's lazy, crap - and very normal! Tell him you want them cleaned today as they'll be new dishes to wash tomorrow. Get his dad to help you enforce this if you can.

Ragwort · 01/02/2022 08:27

Why is it relevant that he is your step son? I have a teenage DS (well, he's 20 now) and yes, he was lazy and thoughtless and did jobs 'half heartedly' as I did when I was a teenager.

Fortunately he is a lot better now, working for his Uni placement job, long hours, at his desk by 7.30am and coping with his own cooking, washing, housework etc. I am sure there are some lovely, helpful teenagers around ... but however good you think your parenting skills will be, I do think the teenage years are a minefield and I am just pleased to have got through them with little more to worry about than an untidy bedroom and dirty dishes left unwashed.

Pick your battles.

ahcmonnow · 01/02/2022 08:28

Sounds pretty normal to me.

Roselilly36 · 01/02/2022 08:30

My DS’ would have forgotten all about me asking them, I expect, so at least he did it, not to the required standard, albeit. Does he know how to wash up properly?

Ragwort · 01/02/2022 08:32

This has bought back memories of when my DPs went on holiday and left me at home, I didn't do a very good job of looking after the house and can still remember my mother's fury when she returned from a lovely relaxing holiday to find housework not done properly etc. that was over 40 years ago and one of the very few times she really 'lost it with me' ... she's nearly 90 now and we have a great relationship .

Of course at the time I though she was a miserable old bag but as a home owner I can understand her disappointment.

OddsNSodsBitsNBobs · 01/02/2022 08:35

Typical teenager, although I'm not sure I'd call it lazy. If I asked my son to wash the dishes, that's precisely what he would do. He wouldn't think off his own back to then dry them and put them away. You need to give them a very detailed ro do list for the simplest of tasks! The poor washing annoys me but son hobestly thinks he has done a good job until I point out what he has missed. At least he tried, unless he as using it as a tactic to never be asked again 😆

candlelightsatdawn · 01/02/2022 09:12

Ahhh I suspect all teenagers have their annoying quirks. This is totally normal but totally feel you ! It's not a SC issue so much as a general teenage issue !

I wasn't messy but my poor SD used to go spare with the boy drama that followed me around during teenage years.

Wine helps !

BurntToastAgain · 01/02/2022 10:55

I agree that it isn’t an SC issue at heart. It’s just teenagers being lazy and seeing how much they can get away with. It’s developmental and frustrating to deal with.

The potential SC issue would be where you didn’t feel you had the authority to challenge him and intervene. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the case here. So that’s a positive!

CornishGem1975 · 01/02/2022 11:37

Sounds like normal teenage behaviour - I have two of my own.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 01/02/2022 11:38

Couldn't his dad have done it? Why were there dirty dishes if you weren't there??

AnotherMansCause · 01/02/2022 11:39

Sounds like he needs a lot more practice.

BurntToastAgain · 01/02/2022 11:41

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Couldn't his dad have done it? Why were there dirty dishes if you weren't there??

What a weird response.

QuirkyTurtle · 01/02/2022 11:42

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Couldn't his dad have done it? Why were there dirty dishes if you weren't there??

Not sure it's a good idea for dad to be covering all of a child's chores?

And when I say 'not sure' I mean how incredibly weird to expect a parent to do a child's chores?

MissMaple82 · 01/02/2022 12:04

Oh god what do you expect?? Be grateful they made an effort and did it. Ridiculous moaning about this!!

RedWingBoots · 01/02/2022 13:01

@AnotherMansCause

Sounds like he needs a lot more practice.

This.

Looks like he has to re-do them.

RedWingBoots · 01/02/2022 13:02

@MissMaple82

Oh god what do you expect?? Be grateful they made an effort and did it. Ridiculous moaning about this!!

Some people whether parents, step-parents or random adults aren't use to the ways of teenagers so they think the behaviour is more than it is.

Santahasjoinedww · 01/02/2022 13:04

Change the WiFi password... Available once the chores are done..

Tattler2 · 01/02/2022 13:04

OP, you probably got his best "teenage efforts." Sometimes it is just best to do it yourself and save yourself the aggro. If not just be prepared for the outcome to be his " best efforts " vs your expectations. Choose your battles .

zaffa · 01/02/2022 13:14

@QuirkyTurtle

I've never had teenage (step)children so can't relate, but definitely sounds like something I did to my own poor mother when I was a teenager.

It still bloody sucks though!

I do have a teenage stepson and think that this is both something he would do and something I did to my poor mother 😂

Thatsplentyjack · 01/02/2022 13:19

I probably wouldn't have even done them as a teen. Least he made the effort.

mommabear2386 · 01/02/2022 14:33

My two SS's 15 and 18 are both awful... room is a crap hole, beds not made, wrappers left. Dishes always left for someone else, recycling never put in the bin.... I could go on and on.

I tried for years to get them to help out more (SD 16) is a dream and so helpful! They never listened and wouldn't even accept bribery etc

So I stopped telling him and just got on board with gutting there room after EOW visits. I happily did the dishwasher when they were so lazy to clean a bowl they started using Tupperware and any other container they could find.

Then when they have asked to stay at ours more ie inset days or holidays my answer is no! Because I'm not being your maid for extra time than I have too actually. It works lot better then idol threats, it doesn't make them tidy any more but I feel I have my like in the sand!

Tiramysu · 01/02/2022 16:55

Sounds like a typical teenager to me. Can you get a drying rack so all he has to do is wash and let them drip dry?

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