Diverting chat away from my child to theirs

[Neveragain85]

I’ve noticed whenever I mention something my child is doing, something exciting with school or a good school report my DP always responds by talking about his child’s achievements even if not relevant to the conversation. Then the conversation is dominated by talking about their child. I do not do this when it’s the other way round. What is that all about? Competitiveness? FYI this is for both of us our first relationship after divorce & the children are a year apart at school

What is that all about?
Who knows. Guilt? Maybe feeling you are in some way dissing his child? How long are you together? Do you live together?

No I'm definitely not dissing their child in any way, I wouldn't do that. I usually start the conversation about my child & it's not something I mention all the time just every couple of months or so. We don't live together & been together for 3 years. I just find it strange

He’s probably doing it without actually realising. If he’s a good stepdad to you DC then I don’t think you should fixate on this.

I'm guessing guilt

Do you both have your respective children 50/50? Is there disparity in this?

My now-DH did this. I suspect I did it to him too sometimes. There was no gamesmanship involved, we were just making conversation about our children, in the same way that we shared funny things they'd said or done.

Egh some people do this as a way to relate, kinda like oh I have a story that's relevant here.

It would depend if he's listening to what your saying or just being a bit competitive.

Now it's a bigger problem if you can't mention your own DC and this happens all the time and he's not listening. It's a amber flag to dad guilt and if you look this board dad guilt is a big issue in blended families.

I would jokingly say can I mention Dc without you trying to turn it into a competitive sport - if he catches the hump that's a red flag. If he takes it on the chin and chills out your all good

I think he's probably just trying to make conversation? Thinking oooh we can talk about the kids now and then not knowing when to shut up and listen?

I understand the "doing it to make conversation and relate to people thing" and am aware of myself doing the same thing, but if it's resulting in him dominating the conversation with talk of his kids then at best he sounds like he lacks self/social awareness and is self absorbed.

I think that can be a way of relating to what you’ve said; next time he does it then bring it back to your child rather than continue a conversation about his. Or gently point it out as I imagine he’s completely unaware