Ughhhh, so fed up and need a rant.
DSS is 8. We have him 55% of the time.
I have written a few posts which I’ve had great feedback- very much a nacho parent since learning what it is and my life has been SO much easier and I have a better relationship with DSS since.
Anyway, DSS seems to get away with a lot at mums (and openly tells us). As an example, he still sleeps in bed with her every night because he says he is lonely (it’s then hard to get him to sleep here) he’s done that for the last year. DP and ex agreed he was not to go on the Xbox for more than one hour a day- DP & I have been doing this here but can see screen time on the app and he is spending 6 hours a day at hers (after school about 3-4 hours). DP & ex said he is too young to walk home from school alone but DSS let slip she allows him to leave school alone and walk down to the local football field to meet her (5 minute walk). DSS was allowed to open his Christmas presents at mums the week before Christmas meaning he had much less to open on Christmas Day. They have inappropriate names for each other e.g. tits. He’s also reverting back to talking like a baby and he does it at his mums constantly and he even says she encourages it because she likes it. All this is besides a point and DP says he will have a conversation with DSS mum as he’s had enough (he’s been saying since November- after Christmas I’ll have a chat but it’s so difficult- I’ve explained it’s to benefit DSS and no one else)
Anyway, the Christmas break has been bickering non stop, refusing to do things, talking like a baby constantly, having strops and slamming doors, shouting etc. And DP (& I) are losing patience, I’ve told him to consider he is an 8 year old and it’s hard for him too. Yesterday was the same, all day bickering and then we get to the evening and DSS and DP were playing, DSS then starting punching DP really hard and DP tells him to go to bed without tv, adamant that no tv is being had because his behaviour etc. cue doors slamming crying shouting. DSS then comes downstairs and wants cuddles so DP gives them, he falls asleep briefly and then DP takes him to bed, he then allows him to have tv in bed and he’s up until 11pm watching tv.
He was up and down, change the channel, I can’t sleep etc. So I was annoyed. DP asked me today what was wrong and I said “You moan that his mum gives in and let’s him get away but that’s exactly what you do as well so how can he have any boundaries” anyway DP is in such a mood with me, should I have kept my mouth shut? It’s just really wearing thin.