How do you pay for Christmas?

[flowersforyou]

Hello, just being curious really. I'm wondering if you personally put money towards DSC Christmas presents? I was a SC myself and my SM never put anything towards ours but that was some years ago so not sure if it has changed?

I have a DSS and planning to move in with DP soon and I've always got him separate gifts from me (mainly because DH has no sense of fashion and I want to get him nice clothes lol) but now we are going to be moving in together I'm not too sure on how it would work and wanted to talk to my fellow SM's on here before I have a discussion with DP.

Thanks!

Usually separate gifts, as we each inevitable pay more for our own child’s ‘main’ present.

I would say it totally depends as to how you intend to share /divide your incomes anyway. I'm not a stepmum but my dh is stepdad too my dc and we don't have separate money

I agree it will be different depending on how you handle your finances generally. I have never bought my DSS seperate gifts, the one's from his dad are labelled up as being from both of us. We don't have seperate finances so it all just comes out of the pot.

Ours just came from the joint pot where all wages went same as our joint Ds. That's just how we did it. Don't think there's a "right way" really.

Ah we are having one account for bills and then the leftover will be our money to spend as we please, obviously he doesn't want the child maintenance he pays coming from money I put in so that just comes out of his pot, we have a joint account prepped for moving in together so I might just say to him for us to create a 'Christmas/birthday' account and us both put some money in that each month.

Me and my EXDP had a joint account into which we agreed to deposit a set amount monthly for bills, in proportion to our salaries.

In December, we would increase that month's money to account for Christmas related items, including gifts, then I used to buy everything from there. This meant all presents, whether for DSC or DC were purchased jointly.

I buy for my 2 children and DP buys for his but the kids aren’t aware of this, it’s just presents “from the household”.
Prior to moving in together I would get his children a small token gift from me and my DCs but now I don’t.

Ahh so what usually happens is I will get SD few gifts but her main stuff will be from her dad.

In reverse I get main gifts for DD and DH will get few gifts from him.

We have separate finances. I was never sold on the whole whack the money into the same pot as DH lacks judgement and is a spender, were I am a saver.

Works for us but again it depends on the dynamics of the family.

It also avoids the whole you have to be totally to the penny balanced in terms of money re the kids. I'm the higher earner our of the two which would add to the weird dynamics if we shared finances.

He gets them gifts and I get them a smaller gift from me and our DC. We do the same with our DC.

I am a step-child and a step-parent. DH and I always gave (and still give) joint gifts paid from a joint account after we were married. My own step-parents did the same.

I do all the Christmas shopping for DSS but my DH pays for it, then everything is from both of us. The boys know I do all the shopping and are happy because I always pick nice things/get cheaper deals so overall they end up with more as a result of me doing it. For our DS we both contribute financially to his gifts.

DH and I are now married with DC together and I save throughout the year for Christmas and we pay half each to DSDs Christmas presents. Earlier on in our relationship I’d contribute to her present or buy my own gift for her but as the years have gone on we both contribute in part because I want to be able to say the gift is from us both and not here’s your dads gift and here’s mine

We share the cost. Always have done.
Our set up though is as my oh is the higher earning he buys the expensive parts and I cover everything else.
My step child live with us full time though so our set up is a bit different but even before that we shared the cost.

Probably a slightly different take on things as Ex-H and I still buy our 2 DC all their Christmas presents from us which we contribute to 50/50 so everything is kept fair and we don't have any large disparities in what's spent by him or I. It has worked well for us as he's uselessly disorganised & I love the whole process of selecting, buying & wrapping the gifts!

My DP and my Ex-H's DP both get them a gift each from them separately. Interestingly, my DP is moving in in January, so not sure if this arrangement will carry on next year.

I think it changes over time in a similar way to partners families. I will quite happily buy presents for my in laws 15 years in but less so on year 1

I tend to get them separate stuff. Dp will tend to get them something expensive and useful (think bikes, computers etc.) Whereas I'll get them something fun (merch from whatever YouTubers they like, whatever plastic tatt they covert, earrings they want etc.) Dp can't bear to spend his hard-earned cash on tacky things but s
DSDs love them so it means they get a nice balance.

My DP just buys all of the gifts for SCs and his family and puts my name on them. I do the same for my family.

The first couple of years we were together I used to get SCs separate presents just from me, and then one year when we'd been together a while I did give him money towards SC's presents. But he wasn't interested in any input or suggestions from me on what the presents actually were and it just ended up causing friction so I never did that again.

If we both agree on the present then it comes out of the joint but if we don't agree then whoever wanted to get the present pays for it.....but that is also the case for our joint child and also works in that sometimes the step parent buys the present on their own. Most presents come from our joint account. This developed over time and just happened naturally as our relationship and family unit progressed

Me and DH have 5 children between us, 3 are mine and 2 are his. We've been together 10 years and I consider them all my responsibility. I'm the higher earner and I manage the money suits my income that covers all kids Christmas. I spend the same on each kid. When we first moved in together we bought our own kids presents, once we were married I took over finances and Christmas

I tend to buy the stocking filler type presents and DH buys the main gift but we just say it is all from "us".

Apart from the first year we were together - not living together etc - DH has always paid for DS1 (his step son) presents.

We made a decision that when DS2 was born two years after we met that I would be a full time SAHM, mainly due to DH's career (didn't work near home etc), so easier to have me always available for the children.

Wouldn't have been right for DS1 to have had less bought for him at Christmas as his parent had no money of their own, so money immediately became family money so effectively DH's wage paid for all of his step sons presents.

One each - we usually split the cost for shared and similar pressies then outsource and pay for our own 'main' pressies