Interesting behaviour six year old

[BlindMum]

I’ve been in SC Life since she was one year old Myself and her dad have a 10 month old

She is with us every other weekend And most of the school holidays

Myself and SC Used to get along great I was never going to be a mum figure to her but more of an adult she could trust and that was working great until everything changed it was like a different child arrived

It happened when I was eight months pregnant she turned up one weekend and wouldn’t speak to anyone until the next morning and she would only speak to her dad

I should add social services are involved with the child due to her mother so because of the unusual behaviour we did speak to them on the Monday but nothing came of it

She is only six and i’ve only ever spent time with two other six-year-olds but she acts very differently to them she will laugh if someone gets hurt she is starting to lie about even the small things and she is very destructive.
To the point we cannot leave the 10 month old and her in the same room as she has hurt him in the past

I could be completely wrong but this does seem unusual behaviour

Her mother has been through a few relationships over the last few years and is now pregnant herself which unfortunately has increased the the behaviour of SC

I just don’t know what to do her dad those parent her he will also discipline if needed and the only thing I now do is cook for meals as she will totally ignore me or just give me dirty looks when I enter a room

I would love to get the lovely little girl back

Ok two of one things going on

DSD has suffered some type of abuse at home from mummy and has had her loyalties tested aka is SM fault that your mummy abs daddy aren't together and they may take you away from me and it's all SM fault or

Your DSD isn't neotypical. This isn't a awful thing, she sounds very much like it might be a combo of the too.

Take her to a therapist. Get her help, frame it as you want her to thrive and she's currently not thriving. Give her a safe place away from all the drama

@candlelightsatdawn Thank you for replying

That is kind of my worry that something has happened she does do other things around man that I won’t go into but it does scare me and we have informed social services of this

This is obviously a bit of amateur diagnosis but from what people have told me her mother has a narcissistic personality and I’m wondering if SC May have the same but she is only six I just don’t know

I’m not sure her mother would approve of us taking her to a therapist As when her dad asked if she could go for genetic testing to check for a condition he has passed down to our son And is worried SC may have it. Her mother point blank refused which baffles me entirely

@BlindMum ahhh see narcissist parents don't often create narcissistic child quite the reverse but just as damaging.

DH has parental rights so absolutely can take her on his time to whatever he feels appropriate especially when it's medical. If SS even more so. Get her there, believe me it's more likely she had a non nerotypical view point due to all the abuse at home x

This definitely sounds like it needs investigating. Get social services back on board and tell them everything you've said here. If she's hurt your 10 month old and you can't trust her to be alone with him then that's a massive red flag and to be honest I'd be concerned about her getting up in the middle of the night to cause him harm when nobody's watching, particularly if she's deriving pleasure (i.e. laughing) when someone gets hurt. This is serial killer in the making type behaviour so needs nipping in the bud now.

Have you spoken with her teacher? Might be worth a conversation with them to check if they also have concerns?

@candlelightsatdawn. Ahh ok didn’t know that Of the problem his my husband is scared of SC mother As she has before taken her away when he’s done something she didn’t like so he’s scared of that happening again

@Harlequin1088 We actually do have an alarm on his door for this reason and I couldn’t sleep before having it so husband conceded and put it up for me

@reallyworriedjobhunter. Husband has spoken to school they have their own concerns but everything is going through social services right now

Then he needs to pay £212 (reduced if on low income) and get himself a child arrangement order setting out EXACTLY when she needs to make the child available. That way the door is firmly shut on any blackmail about not 'letting' her see her father if you take her for medical check up.

Don't let him be a lazy hand wringer ... ' poor me I can't look after my child because the mother won't let me' ... it's a nonsense. Get it in writing and that power has gone .

[quote BlindMum]@candlelightsatdawn. Ahh ok didn’t know that Of the problem his my husband is scared of SC mother As she has before taken her away when he’s done something she didn’t like so he’s scared of that happening again

@Harlequin1088 We actually do have an alarm on his door for this reason and I couldn’t sleep before having it so husband conceded and put it up for me

@reallyworriedjobhunter. Husband has spoken to school they have their own concerns but everything is going through social services right now[/quote]
That's terrifying. Your stepdaughter's behaviour is so unpredictable and scary that you have to have an alarm on your baby's bedroom door? That's not ok, OP. I'm due my first baby in April and I can't imagine the level of fear I'd experience if either of my stepsons behaved in such a way that I'd need to alarm my child's door to stop them hurting him.

It's good that social services are involved but if they don't know already then you need to make them aware that your stepdaughter's behaviour has necessitated your baby's bedroom door being alarmed to stop her from causing him harm. They need to know this as now this child's behaviour is putting another child at risk and that's not fair on your baby.

I appreciate this must be difficult for your husband in particular but if his daughter's behaviour doesn't improve or gets worse then he needs to seriously consider having contact with her away from your home in order to protect the welfare of your baby. So contact wouldn't be reduced, it'd just be a case of him taking her out for the day to the park or swimming or something so that she's still having that 1:1 time with her Dad but not risking the well-being of your baby.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, OP, I truly am xx

@BlindMum court ! Court access like pp said get it in writing ! We had a fairly interesting event with our family dog which we had to rehome due to safety fears for the dog due to DSD behaviour (witnessed by all people her DM)

DM even argued the toss after this event about taking DSD to therapy - threatening contact ect but let me tell you once we knew the cause we changed our approach and DSD has improved (not enough to trust her around animals though)

We still have issues but it's helped

@Finknottlesnewt

Then he needs to pay £212 (reduced if on low income) and get himself a child arrangement order setting out EXACTLY when she needs to make the child available. That way the door is firmly shut on any blackmail about not 'letting' her see her father if you take her for medical check up.

Don't let him be a lazy hand wringer ... ' poor me I can't look after my child because the mother won't let me' ... it's a nonsense. Get it in writing and that power has gone .

It's £232 now the price went up in September.

Also OP if your DH does follow this through he should try only to communicate with his ex through email.