"Yeah but yours...."

[Thesecretgardens]

Literally this. Every time i raise something to dp about something that dss does he gets defensive and will then say yes but your dd does x y z.

Its so very annoying.

Ive raised it previously but here we are again, does this happen to anyone else?

The reason i feel its unfair to me is because he lives with me and my dd so tells her off about (whatever has gone on) In other words alot more than i "tell off" dss which i dont anyway i raise things with him so he can deal with it usually.

Tonight ive asked that they set the table for dinner, he thinks there is no point as it wont get done.

Im putting my foot down, its a very basic thing. I had to do it, an clear the table!

I also got woken by his dss gaming last night until all hours but apparently thats what teens do

I dont want it to be like oh poor dss as he isnt here all the time he should be mollycoddled

House rules that apply every child in the house and the subsequent punishment . Then put them on a wall and point.

Every single time. Eventually it will take the emotionalness out of it

Oh the tit for tat thing. Yes, I get it all the time.

I get this. It’s exhausting. And infuriating.

He’s just trying to displace attention from his children’s extremely poor behaviour and how negatively it affects everyone else. Apparently behaviour that is intended to upset everyone or to (for example) ruin another child’s birthday is equivalent to a slightly messy bedroom (that affects only the child whose bedroom is is).

House rules are your friend. Adults and dc.
Coats get hung up. Shoes get put on racks etc.
Dc get a list of chores.
Dss is living there at certain times not visiting a chalet for a holiday.