Ideas needed for the weekends.

[ReginaaPhalange]

DSD - 13 at the age now she doesn't want to do the usual things such as swimming. No longer talking to the friend she made in the street and lately has been here EOW and just wants to sit in her room and play on her iPad.

When we ask her what she wants to do, we get the standard "I don't know" response and she can never come up with any ideas, and anything we suggests gets shot down. Last weekend she did say she was bored but didn't know what she wanted to do and she didn't want to go for a walk and didn't fancy the zoo.

Any ideas greatly appreciated! DH text and asked if there was anything she wanted to do this weekend and she replied "idk"!!

To be honest I would just let her sit on her iPad sometimes if that's what she wants to do. Everyone needs downtime.

One thing I have learned with having teenage DSDs is NEVER ask if they want to do something - the answer is always no or a shrug. We tell them that we are doing something. DP has to force them to go for walks etc. but they always seem to enjoy it once they are doing it.

My stepsons are 17 and 11. When they come to visit us, we don't give them the option. We've planned in advance how we're spending the weekend so it's a case of, "Right lads, get your shoes on, we're doing X today" or if it's an indoor activity, "Right lads, these cookies aren't going to bake themselves. You grab a mixing bowl and I'll get the ingredients out of the cupboard. Do you mind reading the recipe out to me?"

If we ask them what to do then we get the standard, "We don't know" or if they're feeling polite, "We don't mind".

If we have structured activities and plans for the day then we find they actually find they're enjoying themselves!

It is typical behaviour but looking back (mine are now young adults), I wish I had been more pushy.

There are 2 options. Let her be to do her own things, being bored and probably brewing some low grade depression.

Forcing her to do things even if she moans before and during.

It's easy to give up after two many cases of the latter, but I'm amazed how my kids now recall with fondness times when they'd labelled me the worse mum ever for making them go on a walk, to the beach or to a show, even holidays.

Best is probably about if both. Teens will moan and appear bored no matter what but memories and a sense of belonging do matter much deep inside.

My dd is 12 nearly 13 she is always bored or on facetime to her friends. Recently we've done canoeing, axe throwing, were pretty close to London so looked up some Instagramable places for coffee, walked round harrods etc tbh she would be happy going to the local starbucks though for coffee and a cake just tried to find some cool places she can show off to her friends!

Coffee seems to go down well