Uni costs | Mumsnet

WeepySheepy · 2021-10-06T18:03:10+00:00

This came up on another thread and I didn't want to detail it for OP. So I just found out that my income could end up being counted when they are assessed for help with uni fees. Does this mean I am obliged to help fund their uni?! How come my income isn't taken into account when they are kids and then all of a sudden I might be expected to hand over my money to them when they are old enough to leave home?!

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RedMarauder · 06/10/2021 19:22

I answered on the other thread briefly and sent you a PM.

HerRoyalNotness · 06/10/2021 19:26

Only if they live with you as their main home. Otherwise not. Hs D.C. was assessed based on her M&SF as that was where they lived primarily. SF refused to then provide any help, but that’s ok, I’d saved up for the last 10yrs a little every month so they had some top up of loan amt.

spotcheck · 06/10/2021 19:36

It's a crap system but yes, those are the rules.

NailsNeedDoing · 06/10/2021 19:43

Yes, you are expected to contribute, and morally you have to really. Your step child will be entitled to take out significantly less in loan because of your income, so unfortunately you living with them means that they are at a huge financial disadvantage unless you make up for it.

TicTacHoh · 06/10/2021 19:45

This is shocking, OP

Aderyn21 · 06/10/2021 19:55

This is a terrible system - basically the child won't be allowed to borrow the full amount if the household income where she lives is too high. So even though a step parent has no PR or obligation, if they don't top up the students income the poor kid is deprived of what they need through no fault of their own.
This comes as a huge shock to many parents and step parents. It's a completely unethical way to determine student finance.
That said, my friend's ex used the fact that his stepson lived with him to reduce child maintenance for his own child. It was nice to see that bite him on the arse when his income was taken into account for stepson's uni finance and he now has to either top up stepchild or incur the wrath of his new wife!

lunar1 · 06/10/2021 20:19

It's crap, but not in any way new. It's been like this for over 20 years. Parents really have a responsibility to research the full implications for their children of having a blended family.

I was heartbroken, I gained a place on my dream course, and then had to turn it down and apply to nursing instead.

Original poster

WeepySheepy · 06/10/2021 20:26

Thing is if I do pay for my DSC then my own child is going to be worse off! I researched child maintenance before I got married so knew I wasn't taken into account for that so somewhat stupidly it seems, I didn't even think to check my obligations once they were an adult.

OP posts:

Bollindger · 06/10/2021 20:31

Does your step child live with you?
Because that is the income they use.
Your step child could declare they are not financial supported by you if they live in the same house.

NailsNeedDoing · 06/10/2021 20:33

You have my sympathy, the system really is crap. It’s what has prevented me from being able to live with my partner while my children are still at university.

When your step child has been through the process and you know how much they will be loaned, how much their course and accommodation will be, you can work out how you’re going to make it work.

Does your partner get decent child maintenance for the one going to uni, and would the NRP be prepared to continue to pay but give it directly to their child? It’s ridiculous, but the actual parent has no obligation when the child turns 18, but other earners in their household do.

delilahbucket · 06/10/2021 20:35

Yep thems the rules if they live with you. We're in the same position if DS goes to uni, he'll qualify for next to nothing because they take into consideration DH's income. Whereas his dad is unlikely to contribute anything 🙄

NailsNeedDoing · 06/10/2021 20:36

Student finance expects students to have no contact at all with parents if they claim financial estrangement, and they have to prove it.

Tattler2 · 07/10/2021 00:31

Even biological parents cannot be forced to contribute to college expenses. A student may receive less aid based upon the household income, but the parents cannot be legally forced to make up the difference.

A good parent generally wants to do all that they are capable of doing to help best position their children for financial success as adults. Many see this is helping to fund higher education.

Not all parents are positioned to do as much as others. Sadly, some are positioned to do a substantial amount, but do not see the future of their children as being an area in which they are willing to invest.

If you do as much as you are capable of doing, then you have done all that can or should be expected of you.

vivainsomnia · 07/10/2021 08:31

I don't understand why this is an issue if they don't live with you. Then no, it's not your income or your partner that will be taken into account.

Aderyn21 · 07/10/2021 08:44

It can be an issue even if the child doesn't live with you, in the sense that if the household income where they live is too high, due to a step parent's income and that step parent cannot/won't top up the child the nrp can find they need to find more money than they expected or see their child go short. Some nrp take the view that it wasn't their choice to introduce a step parent who earns a lot but won't/can't top up and so they too refuse. It can leave the student completely screwed over, with both sets of parents denying any responsibility.
This system takes no account of the complexity of step families and their obligations to their own biological children.

Shadedog · 07/10/2021 09:01

Yes, it’s a stupid system. Even with non-step families it makes parents financially responsible until the child is 25 rather than 18 and doesn’t really take into account siblings at university at the same time..
Will the NRP contribute at all? If your dsc live between both homes they are better off using the home with the lowest income for their application for finance. Obviously this doesn’t work if they live with you full time.

aSofaNearYou · 07/10/2021 09:10

I would not be doing this. If it's based on household income then make it clear to mum and dad that the other parent will need to contribute that money instead of you. That's only right.

lunar1 · 07/10/2021 09:33

If it's the step parent that tipping the balance with their income, the NRP can't necessarily make up that shortfall if they are on a low income.

The system is awful, but it's not the fault of the child/young adult.

This system is decades old and not a secret. A parent shouldn't be living with a partner if it's going to massively affect their child's life choices in this way.

Aderyn21 · 07/10/2021 09:47

It's not the NRP's fault that the mum/dad has married someone whose income affects what the child can borrow. They could quite legitimately say that it's the resident parent's responsibility to make up the shortfall. This can lead to marital issues where the RP cannot afford to make up the difference and their spouse wants to keep their money for their own DC.
It really does take no account of a family's other commitments or disparity of income between both parents' homes.
The only way I can see this as being in any way reasonable is where a NRP has ducked out of CS for their own DC due to having a step child live with them, in which case they can't have it both ways and ought to be compelled to cough up.

vivainsomnia · 07/10/2021 10:28

It can be an issue even if the child doesn't live with you, in the sense that if the household income where they live is too high, due to a step parent's income and that step parent cannot/won't top up the child the nrp can find they need to find more money than they expected or see their child go short
But that's not what OP is talking about. She asks about her income being used to assess her sc's loan. It won't be if the child doesn't live with them.

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/10/2021 10:30

Don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to help, if you can?

Notaroadrunner · 07/10/2021 10:35

@WeepySheepy

Thing is if I do pay for my DSC then my own child is going to be worse off! I researched child maintenance before I got married so knew I wasn't taken into account for that so somewhat stupidly it seems, I didn't even think to check my obligations once they were an adult.

You personally don't have to pay a penny. It's up to your Dh and his ex to save for their own kids costs. If your income is taken into account it doesn't mean your Dh can force you to pay towards his child's uni costs. Save for your own child and make sure Dh is saving towards all his kids - all that is assuming you keep your finances seperate apart from household bills. If you have joint finances then you will need to sit down with Dh and decide what you are willing to contribute. He cannot just assume he can use a chunk of your joint money to fund his dc.

aSofaNearYou · 07/10/2021 11:46

@MrsSkylerWhite

Don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to help, if you can?

Of course you don't.

SmileySandwich · 07/10/2021 12:39

@MrsSkylerWhite

Don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to help, if you can?

I wouldn't pay my DSC's uni fees even if I could. They have two parents to do that for them. I work and miss out on seeing my own LO, there's no way a penny of that is going to help out the DSC's uni fund of their own parents can't afford it. Mum can get a job that covers more than 3 hours a day if she's that bothered!

Aderyn21 · 07/10/2021 12:43

But maybe their parents would have been able to afford it if one of them hadn't married someone whose income tips them over the edge for the student to borrow more. That's the problem with all this - the kids are losing out due to the choices of their parent.