Need guidance

[Kimbo180]

My partners father passed away couple of weeks ago. Hisself and his brother are going to take turns helping out with his mam.
So here the scenario going forward
My partner has an 8 year old that has been staying here every weekend since shes 3.
He decided with his brother that he would stay in his mams on his contact time without a discussion.
Am i right to feel annoyed?
Will my relationship change with the little one as i wont see her probly a few hours on a sat? We have a great relationship
All her friends are here there zero kids to play with where the mam lives.
There would be no room for me to stay in his mams.
So do i say how i feel about it or do i just let it play out and see what happens as it goes forward.
Help

His dad just died, I’d support him in whatever he feels is best right now. It’s nice you miss her but time with her extended family is good for your DSD and she’s probably a comfort to her grandma at the moment.

He should be talking to you about what he wants to do but I’d cut him some slack in these weeks.

Yeah i havnt said anything as things are raw at the moment but im worrier and maybe i shudnt be stressing so much bout the future x
Thanks for ur reply x

Play it by ear. A difficult time for all of you.

This is one of the things that really upsets me about blended families. You have a 5 year relationship with her, and have absolutely no say over massive changes to that relationship.

Hopefully when your partner is past the initial stage of his loss he'll rethink things a little. It doesn't seem sensible in the long term.

Yeah thats true i think im just in a bit of shock coz its going to be a major change for all of us.
And there is parents out there that think that "we" dont care bout there kids.
But in fact we do.
Plus shes making her communion in a few days and i probly wont get to see her
So just feeling a bit crap bout the suituation.

If weekends were the best time for him, there really wasn't much to be discussed. It makes sense that he could meet his mother's immediate need without having to give up time with his daughter.

This is a plan in place because of the immediate aftermath of a significant loss. His mother will probably not need nor want her sons presence on any long term basis. If the brothers see these needs becoming long term , they may want to make different arrangements.

In the interim, your partner would probably appreciate your understanding and support as he deals with this significant loss and the immediate need arising from that loss.

This is truly one of those instances when you place the needs of others ahead of your own interest.

These changes may not be nearly as long or impactful as you think

You sound like a lovely step mum, obviously this is family trauma and things will be a bit up in the air for a while. I would just stand by and support any decisions he's making, perhaps offer to take your step daughter out for a few hours on the weekend where you can to try and keep up your lovely relationship while he helps his mum. You don't say how far away it is but hopefully not too far!

Yeah and thats what iv done id support him for everything. But as you said i think further down the line regards the little one needs will change.

Is it a long way away? Is there no way you can be there for communion?

Its bout 40 mins on a bus.
I dont drive.
Ah the communion thing i wudnt want to ruin it for her just incase her mam starts she blows hot and cold so i wudnt take the chance. Its not fair on the little one. Xx
Ye il try sort something out xxx