... sounds like a totally horrendous situation quite frankly. a bit like emotional blackmail quite frankly which is what it is.
Having been recently through the lottery that is the family court system to ensure that my daughter was enabled to continue having a loving strong relationship with her dad, despite all the crap the ex tried (emotional blackmail, reducing contact, applying for sole res order, coaching the child etc), I know have a shared residence order and daughter is much better off for it.
anyway, to your situation.
You had a shared parenting schedule which was unilaterally changed by DP's ex. This presumably was not mutually agreed.
You suspect the DP's ex's motives are financial (they usually are) - as there is a direct link between CSA and overnight stays. The more o/n stays, the less dosh the ex gets... if this is her motive then that is obviously 'not in the child's best interests' to paraphrase legally.
For the CSA issue I would highly recommend joining NACSA, they cost £40 per year (I'm a member btw), they have the best source of advice and support for all things CSA related. If you are paying the "current going rate" for CSA contributions using the CSA online calculator then that should be it. NACSA will do an assessment for you, they have the up to date legal advice for assessments and tribunals and will also represent you should you need this.
Do you have any evidence (i.e. voice recordings/independent witness) to the ex saying she will move the child to another country?
Which country is the ex's 'native' country - some countries are Hague convention signatories, but this means little realistically if the child is removed from jurisdiction.
- Does DP have parental responsibility(i.e. was DP married to ex, was the child born after 1st dec 2003 and is named on the birth certficiate).
- If your DP has PR then nobody can take the child out of england or wales without the permission of everyone with PR. That is the law.
- If there is a residence order in place (and that includes a shared residence order) made by the court , then anyone can take the child abroad for no more than 28 days without permission, but it's common courtesy to inform the other parent of the arrangements.
- If you have a real fear of the child being removed from jurisdiction, then I would advise IMMEDIATELY to apply for a Prohibitive Steps Order.
You can do this yourself, you do not need a solicitor - but if you have one then do it immediately. You can alternatively fill in the forms yourself and file papers at court. You will need a C1 form (available from the hmcourts website).
form here:
www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/c1_1205.pdf
- fill in the details
- Q13 is the real important one, you are applying for a Prohibitive Steps Order as the ex has verbally indicated that she will remove the child from jurisdiction to her native country of XXX. She has said this in response to your request for an appeal for CSA calculations.
You will need to fill in 1 copy, make 2 more copies (1 for the court, 1 for you, 1 for the ex) and file them with the local County Court (are you and the DPs ex nearby or do you live far away?). The fee for a C1 is £175 (are you eligible for legal aid btw?). Beware that courts don't take cards so it's best to pay in cash! The ex will be served with the papers ASAP (or her solicitor will if she has one), and as it's a PSO application as there is a danger of of abduction then the case will be heard very quickly.
At the same time you should consider if you want to get this formally sorted by way of a court order.
You should probably be applying for a Shared Residence Order.
I would highly recommend joining Families Need Fathers, they are the best source of practical advice and support for people like your DPs situation (I'm a FNF branch volunteer now, running a local branch and helping out parents in similar circumstances to you guys). Feel free to PM me or we can chat off forum if you need some more advice.
It may be worthwhile in the medium to long term also thinking about proposing to the DPs ex to attend Family Mediation. It may or may not be successful, but if you can keep it our of court the better - I think on the basis of the ex's behaviour she feels as though she is the dominant parent and what she says goes. The courts are a lottery though and there is no guarantee but you have to do the best you can.
keep strong