So recently my other half and his ex had the final court date in regards to thier daughter and it's been agreed that she's staying with us which is fantastic. Now comes the tricky part.....starting contact again with her mum......it has been her choice to not contact him mum once she decided to live with us and her mum well.....i think in 12 months she called her once or maybe twice? And text roughly 3/4 times. I honestly don't know what kind of mother can drive away thier daughter and then not try to contact?
Anyway....
As you can guess, we've had to deal with years of issues her mum has caused, she has revealed that she wanted to kill herself many times when in her mothers care, including once climbing out her window and wanting to fall out and kill herself. She was locked out of the house for family to smoke stuff, told to just stay in her room.....I mean the list goes on.
Since being with us she is alot happier but her biggest issue is telling tales and blaming others, so like she took money from a friends brothers money jar and when caught she blaimed the friend, now we know kids can say things but my step daughter was straight faced and stuck to her story yet her friend was in floods of tears and so upset and he knew her mum from years ago to know this kid wasnt lieing and the brother even saw her do it and told him to keep quiet yet she stuck to her story. The father also told us on this same visit she sat in the road as cars came, he had to pull her from the road....she denied it, he was lieing she said, she also refused to come home from the park where they were playing football as it reminded her of her grandads death a year to the day who got knocked down as they played football.....she denied saying this but why would adults who have known her since she was like 4 years old make up things like this?
She has also had conversations with older men on things such snapchat including conversations about sex/rape and other things which she blaimed on her friend.
She's just never wanting to admit, apologise or anything, even school have said that when she is pulled up on things she tries to sway the teachers into her way of thinking....like me and her dad have done all we can, got as much support in place as possible but we know now that starting back contact with her mum will bring everything back to the surface.....has anyone else had a step child in this position with the issues from ex and the tales and lieing? I mean it's damaging friendships, it's putting huge stress on her dad like massively he has really really struggled to cope so I am trying to support her and him but it's damn stressful as well as full time work.
[Edited by MNHQ to redact names]