DSC Questions

[Liddywiddy]

Any people had their DSC ask questions that you know are not actually from the child, more like the mother?!

I have had tonight at the dinner table from youngest child (10)...What is your salary?

I asked why and was told just interested. This child has no idea the value of money I must say and is not a question she would ever ask. Maybe it is me, but this is a question from the mother!

My then 8 year old heard a pharmaceutical commercial on the television and with no prompting at all asked at dinner one evening if we suffered from x,y, or z? Young children can hear things and all on their own come up with out of the box questions.

It could be the mom or it could totally be just a result of something that she heard in a totally different context. In any case, my answer would have been " not nearly enough., "

I haven't, but in that scenario I'd just give a clear answer, 'my salary doesn't matter, you don't need to ask about it,' with a cheery smile and change the conversation.

Repeat for anything that's inappropriate and I imagine that eventually it will stop.

We get this frequently, I just ignore it.

The worst was while pregnant getting the comment "my mum said you only have enough love in your heart for two babies and that's why she stopped at the two of us..". Hilarious. He also asked a friend's pregnant mother how she was possibly going to love the third one.

I would be wary of always assuming mum is behind any seemingly adult style questions. They hear stuff, pick up stuff, try it out themselves and see what happens. Just tactfully divert and leave it at that.

Just tell him that’s rude to ask and not to ask again.

Dsd asked me that when she was about 7 and I told her a million pounds a week.

Most children (unless they have been expressly told “DSC, please find out LiddyWiddy’s income but don’t say I’ve asked you to find out”), have no reason to lie about why they are asking. So may be that Dsc is just curious.

However, I have been on the receiving end of this as dsc have divulged that the ex has been Googling the cost of items in my home and checking with dsc “is it this one?” Which is batshit.

Just politely redirect, it may not have come from where you think. X

I'd give a comedy answer like 30 packs of Oreos and a bag of crisps or 1 billion pounds

My child asked me what I earned once, I later found out a kid in her class had been talking about how much her Dad earnt & how it was more than anyone else lol.. she was about 7 or 8 I think - hilarious!

Tell her you work for peanuts.

Definitely go for the comedy answer
Dsc’s mum will know you’re taking the piss out of her when dsc reports back.

My 10 year old asks questions like this all the time. I wouldn’t assume it’s the mother.

My DSC are all adults now, and still ask me batshit questions. Definitely not prompted by their mum! Ditto DSGC, when their mum's sitting right there. Please don't assume they're puppets or spys. Maybe they're just being themselves. We can all at times be a bit curious, tip-toeing or blundering around other people's boundaries, especially when we're young.

@TotorosCatBus

I'd give a comedy answer like 30 packs of Oreos and a bag of crisps or 1 billion pounds

I’d go with this every time.

Agree that a child of 10 is bound to pick up some things but you’re right to be wary.

Even if mum didn't tell DSC to ask you, anything you tell a child is liable to be regurgitated elsewhere... we get told random stuff about DP's ex all the time which we didn't ask... so definitely wise only to share what you want repeated

I've had this. "What size clothes are you wearing now? Dad likes slim women, you need to be careful (!!!)." I was pregnant, not big. It definitely didn't come from their dad.

My dsd used to ask things like this all the time and I knew it wasn't from her mum. She watches videos on YouTube so I guessed she picked it up from there.

Her mum knew what both our salaries were anyway as we both work for the same organisation where pay structures are public and it's not hard to align job title to the pay band.

But as a PP has said, If asked again, reply "not enough" then laugh and change the subject.

We actually had this but directly from SCs Mum to DH when we moved into together. Asking how much I earned. Apparently she deserved to know because her children were living in our home some of the time and so she needed to be sure we would be able to provide for them (we were moving into a bigger home than DH had beforehand).

I told DH (DP at the time) if he told her anything like that then we wouldn't be continuing a relationship as it would have set a precedent I was not happy with at all. It's absolutely none of her business. Thankfully he agreed and told her as much.