Anyone bought up sc from a young age?

[xkirstyx]

Hi my dss has been living with us since he was one. He will now be 4 next month and i was just wondering if anybody has bought up step children from a young age like myself and how it has worked out. I am constanly getting grief from his mum and he is now starting to get very confused with all the lies she is telling him. Please tell me it gets better.

I can't give ou any practial advice, but just wanted to tell ou how well you are doing, I always think its takes a strong person to bring up somebody elses children.
Whatever it takes though, the bo needs to be sheltered from any confusion generated by adult relationships

dss doesn't live with us but he has been in my life since he was 16 months old, he is now 6.

and sorry, but it hasn't got easier because his mum too says things, gives us grief and lies. Despite us doing everything in our power.

I hope someone else comes along and says how lovely it is

warning; absolutely no experience in this area

but i wondered if either a general mediation service, or a specialist therapist from teh child & adolescent mental heatlh service with experience of family conference work, might help?

did a little bit of work on the family conference idea, which is based on the therapists taking a back seat and allowing a family network to sort out issues themselves and come up with solutions. evidence that i saw was v powerful.

[butts out as no experience of this at all]

I've known my dss (now 6) since he was about 4 months old, he lives with his mum but DH and I have been having him to stay with us since he was about a year old. We are lucky in that we have an amicable relationship with dss's mum (she and Dh split up before she knew she was pg, not a very serious relationship). But sometimes she does get on my tits. Your dss's mum should not be giving you grief especially since you are the one bringing him up. It is up to you DH to sort it out. I very rarely intervene when dh and dss's mum have a difference of opinion, at the end of the day they are his parents it is up to the them to sort it out. You need to have a serious talk to your DH about your concerns.

my dss does not live with us but i've been around since he was about 16 months i think it was and he will be 5 begining of nx year. if i am honest its hard and it has not got easier since day one sorry. knowing that gets me down sometimes

bump this for you...

I have been with my dh for 10 years met him with 2 children 4 & 6, he had them full time as the mother walked out....I know exactly what you feel like, it does work out if the mother gives you respect but in my case she has been a thorn in our side. She has 3 other childre that were all in care...she is such a poor excuse for a mother. We have been through 10 years of court and have just concluded it last month.....after many contatc order of which she buffed and caused the kids to much emotional stress. eventually now they are 16 and 14 and they see what she is and have chosen to tell court they want no orders and want nothing to do with her.

I wish you the best and if you need any advice let me know.

Hi - wish I could offer words of wisdom but I am in the same boat.

My DSC's mom walked out then back into their lives causing quite a bit of chaos for everyone.

I have been in my dsc's lives since they were age 5 and age 8.

All I can suggest is just be honest and think of your dss's feelings. It is not an easy time for him and it is too bad mom is too selfish to put her ds needs/feelings first.

(sorry - bit bitter at the mo as we are in the thick of a battle with my dsc mom for this very reason).