step mum and a few relationship problems

[babyalfie]

Hi there I am quite new to this site but would oike a few answers please if you nice people would help me.

I have been in a relationship for 10 mths and love the man very much. I know he i the one for me if you know what I mean. Well his son wants to call me mummy as his mummy died when he was 3 he is now 9. The boys is veruy forward for his age as his fthaer has brought him up.

Well last week I went to parents evening with his father and the teacher was lovely and gave a him a perfect report. She also said that she was warned that he was a very naughty boy and inclined to hit/punch etc but she said she has never had to tell off at all. He also get awards.

I think this si all due to his father being in a relationship. I have got the boy into a routine ie bed, homework etc.. set him grounds and boundries with the help of his father.

Well the thing is that is brillinat but my son who is 6 and a very clever six.. not forward is a little dictator he always ends bein horrible to my partner although they can paly. My son is very popular everywher we go people comment as he is so funny. I do fel sorry in this sense for my soon to be step son.

Okay baffled on enough would you l;et this boy call you as his mummy is dead?

Do you think a man who has lost his wife (was maried for 3 montsh) lived togther fro 3 years can love again to the extent he loved is wife or not. We were talking last night and i was telling him to go see her grave and he said he never gets chance and he did not even go when it was six years since she died. I took my kids down and the son loved itas we bought some little plants.

if you are going to get married and your dss wants to call you mummy then I think that it is positive and good and it's his choice. Yes I think you can grow to love someone as much as a previous partner however the relationship ended.

yes we live aprt at the monet but have just got engaged and plan to marry when we can sell his house and extend mine. We have discussed space so the boys have their own rooms etc..

My daughters do not like the boy as he is in their eyes a little chav which is horrible and that he is too late to change. He is sweet and with time and love I know I can input into him morals that I am my family members value.

The little boys mother was married before and her sons are grown up at 20 and 18 and into drugs etc... so terrible.

How also would you doa will wehen my new man moves in. My house is worth 200k and have a mortgage of 124k he will get about 60k out of his house. His house however was in names with his wife for 4 years and then he took it over but prior to this was his wifes ex husbands and hers and the mortgage was nesrly cleared when his wife died. My new partner say the boys that belonged to his ex wife acan have a little when me or him die and not before as they truly are bad and stel from us etc... In a way i feel sad for them as they have lost their mum and their proper dd that lives down the rd does not really care. My partner their step dad had them until they 16 but were terrible etc...

Thanks for taking time to reply.

He tells me he loves me mor ethan his wife as we are best friends etc... but I never know if he is telling the tuth but know he is i guess. He is such a lovely man nd i am so content.

Oh by the way my dausghters are 17 and 15

I would not let this boy call you mummy for the simple reason that your not his mummy. He probably wants to call you mummy as his friends have one and he doesn't.

When you talk about his mummy (I'm assuming you do) what do you refer to her as, mummy 1? of course not. So don't confuse this little boy. Explain to him that he has a mummy but that she watches him from heaven and together think of a special name for yourself between you. Do't me this to sound harsh at all but his mother holds the title of mummy. Good luck to you.

i disagree. if he wants to call you mum then let him. my step siblings lost their mother to cancer and ended up calling my mum "mum".
if they talk about their real mum it will be obvious.
hes only a little boy and needs a mum. just because you didnt give birth to him doesnt mean you cant be like a mum to him if you are with his dad.

incidentally i call my step dad "dad" too and my father is still alive... its not difficult to make the distinction when you have 2 dads.

in fact....make the boy feel special. he has 2 mummys. one went to heaven and the other is going to look after him now.
to prevent him calling you mum if he wants to sounds a little cruel in my eyes

i think if your going to be a mother figure in his life then yes why shouldnt he call you mummy? and im sure his mum would want his to be happy more than anything else and would be grateful that you have taken him under your wing...