Sad

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

Dp and I have split, due to lies and cheating and other reasons. Happened last week. The 3 dsc have been in my life almost 6 years and I care for them. They are half siblings to my son. I messaged his exw explaining what happened and I'm here for the kids and if they need to speak to have sibling anytime its fine or collect anything. No response, which is beyond rude tbh.
Dp has told the dsc today and they are upset but amusingly said oh no we want caffine to cook as you awful and his eldest isn't speaking to him.
It's very hard as I feel for them but there isn't much I can do to help. I do care for them but I have to try and be respectful of their parnets wishes now and I have no rights over them.
Any advice?

Oh I'm sorry to hear that, it must have been a big shock for you to find out .

Were you close to the ex before this? If not I wouldn't expect a response tbh. You aren't suddenly going to be friends just because you've also split up with her ex. I'd give it time and see what happens there.

No but I'm shocked tbh at manners. When her daughter was having issues she rnag me and asked me for help which I provided. It's sad that the kids are sad as I just want to protect them and they are not even mine to protect.
I think people forget that step parnets care a lot and it feels like I've lost more than just a cheating arse, I've lost a big part of my family.

To be fair I agree with the above comment that if you weren’t close etc before I wouldn’t start suddenly expecting to have a relationship with his ex because you have broken up with your partner, surely you can maintain a relationship with the through your ex and their sibling?

Yeah I have to agree, I may have expected an acknowledgment, but nothing more - unless I was already friendly with her

I don’t think the op is expecting a relationship with the ex. She was just informing her with some important news that concerns her children. The ex has contacted her before and I doubt nobody expected that she wanted to be best friends with the op. A reply is just common courtesy, whoever sends the first message.

I agree with fun.

Sorry you’re feeling so low OP. No advice but you have my sympathies, make sure you prioritise your own needs and look after yourself

Tbf a lot of exes do expect to become friends with the other ex when they break up with their partner and meet up with the children. I’ve seen people suggest it a lot! To reach out to the ex and them and the children can meet up together to keep up a relationship with the children which not everyone is going to want.

Ah I see, yeah if she has contacted you before it might have been nice for her to say something like "sorry to hear that". But as it's all new she might want time to navigate the situation and see what the kids feel like doing.

It is hard, it's part of the reason I try not to get too involved with the DSC but it would still hurt. I am sorry you are hurting

Unfortunately you aren't likely to be part of their lives anymore. She asked for help with her dd when you were involved with them. Now that you are split, she has no reason to engage with you at all. She's probably rolling her eyes at him fucking up again and she's left dealing with kids who will be upset because of him. It's now up to your ex to facilitate a relationsip between your dc and his other dc. If he's not bothered then it's a shame but I wouldn't be texting his exw about it.

Tbh I don't think I'd reply there's nothing really for her to say really and if I was her I wouldn't want to be involved in any dramas. I would consider it up to my ex to sort out contact with an half sibling.

Honestly, OP, my ex has lied and cheated on a number of women since he left me. Without exception, said women didn’t have a clue and decided when it all clicked into place that I was their new best friend. They all have expected to talk to me and bitch about him and somehow make them feel better. I have ignored every attempt to contact me (and a couple have tried really, really hard!) I don’t think they know the full story, and I know they were lied to. But they were still women who knowingly took the side of a liar and a cheat. They are not people I want in my life, I don’t owe them anything.