Fathers Day

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Hi everyone,

Just a quick one - what do you do for Father’s Day? How involved do you get?

This is our first one since living together and I have a great relationship with his 10 year old daughter.

I’ve offered to help her make a card and bake a cake as a surprise, and I’m taking us all on a day out on Sunday.

I booked it as I thought it’d be a nice thing for us all to do, not just because it’s Father’s Day and now I’m wondering if it’s a bit odd? If I shouldn’t have gone all out for a child that isn’t mine.

Gosh does that sound terrible?
I’m looking forward to it and think it’ll be a lovely day and baking together is a good bonding opportunity but I don’t know if I’m overstepping some line or getting myself more involved than I need to.

This step parenting malarkey is a minefield sometimes!

Thanks all x

Ask what normally happens and do that

Sounds perfect to me!

It will depend a bit on age of child and how involved or not mum gets with these things. Also my DH arranges his own father's day outing with his DSC and it's just them but since we had our own child we will all spend it together.

I would ask the child if they want to do that. If they do, then go ahead.
It's tricky when you don't know what they usually do, but I think offering to help make it a special day is lovely. But don't feel upset if it's declined.

Dp’s son was almost 10 when we got together and I’ve always done a little something on Father’s Day for him for a couple years before we even had DC together. It’s a nice gesture

Thanks for the responses so far!

To answer a few questions, his daughter asked me if we could have a day out so I’ve arranged it. They haven’t really done much in previous years.

She may make a card at school but I’ve got crafting bits just in case. Her mum doesn’t get involved with Father’s Day as the school tend to take care of doing little things.

I can’t put my finger on what it is causing me to overthink it, it is just a day out after all and something nice for us all to do together… Maybe just because it’s the first one where I’m actively involved.

I think this is a really lovely move OP. Just let her take the lead and you follow.

That sounds fine. Have a great day!
It's good to be sensitive to boundaries but it doesn't sound like you're overstepping anything.

My DP's ex doesn't do anything so if I don't do it with/for his children then nobody does. I think it's a nice thing to do as it's for them as much as it is for him.

Sounds good, you've let his daughter decide what she wants to to and helped facilitate it without pushing it. It's a tricky balance and sounds like you've nailed it.

OP I texted my DSDs to remind them it was FD on Sunday so they could get cards (teenagers) and one asked me to help her bake some brownies as a present. Sounds like you've got it spot on!

That sounds perfect. She was happy for you to arrange something and I’m sure he’ll be delighted.

I did similar with my DSS when we first moved in together. Sounds very nice and thoughtful. If the DM hasn't got involved before then clearly you won't be stepping on any toes.

Nice plan OP - don't overthink it your DSD won't

It is Fathers Day, she is with her Dad and you are all going out for a meal - normal family activity even in blended families.

I get presents with my DC for their Dad, I like to do that with my kids for their Dad. His ex tried to start doing this but I felt it was overstepping when I had never missed getting him nice gifts etc.
His current GF hasn't tried to do this to my knowledge.

My DSD is coming on Sunday and her mum always sorts gifts out for her Dad so I don't need to but if she didn't I would.

If his child is with you this weekend then it's lovely of you to help them celebrate and thank their father in any way you/they want.

Baking and a meal sounds lovely.

I take my DSD out to get something/order it online and we often go out for lunch; her mum didn’t get involved so I think in the past my mil used to do it snd was happy for me to take over

I think it sounds lovely and as long as DSC is happy about it all then why not?!

Stepdaughters mum makes sure stepdaughter does something for him. But I always send him a card saying what a great dad he is and how I love that about him. He deserves that.