I don't like one of my SC

[GroundpigDay]

I know I'll probably get flamed but.... I really don't like one of my SC. I've been trying to put off admitting this to myself but I've realised I really don't.

It's hard because I really like the other SC.

I really do treat them both well, I'm always kind and they both seem very happy, but internally I find DSC2 irritating, selfish and basically just annoying as hell. They are so different to their sibling who is kind and helpful.

I really care about DSC1 but just have no feelings for DSC2 at all.

It's hard. They're parents probably find them more challenging than their sibling too, but have a big cushion of unconditional love to draw upon.

You can only do what you're doing. Grin and keep treating them both the same. Kids change so much over time - they might grow to become a really lovely person.

That’s okay. You don’t have to like any of them as long as you’re kind and decent to them.

Children are people, you won’t like all the people you come into contact with, no one does.

It might stay this way, it might change and you’ll find DSC1 starts to drive you nuts while you warm to DSC2.

I’ve had a much easier time with one of mine for most of the time I’ve known them but it changed 18 months ago and it’s now much easier with the other one. DH feels the same, their mum does too, some children go through phases of being intensely irritating but it comes and goes.

Give yourself a break. Acknowledge it’s normal and while you can’t help how you feel you need to try not to let it affect how you are with them, as much as possible. You’re only human.

No criticism from me. It's perfectly ok not to like them, just do your very best not to show it.

How old are they? I found mine went through an annoying stage at around 8-9.

It’s ok, one of my SDs is an unlikeable, selfish, demanding bully who is devoid of empathy and kindness.
My other SD I adore. It’s bloody hard.

OP, it is possible that the step child that you dislike may not be particularly fond of you. If is only necessary that you both treat each other in a polite and civil manner. It is not necessary that either of you likes the other.

Honestly, I like one of my DSC more than the other too. That's mainly because DSC1 is selfish and meanly bullies DSC2 who is a much more generous spirit. I'm talking really spiteful stuff to the point where other families have commented and not wanted to be around it.

It's okay as long as you treat them decently and are willing to "catch them being good" and not polarise the SDC in a black and white way. Give them the chance to improve.

Same situation here. One is a delight, the other is a selfish self-absorbed pain who dictates everything. The latest bout of behaviour I felt sure would elicit an appropriate response from my partner but no, everyone at fault but her.

I'm so glad this thread came up as I feel exactly the same. Older SS is lovely but younger one I really don't get on with. I'm never mean but I'm sure he knows it. But glad to know it's not only me.

I find DSC2 irritating, selfish and basically just annoying as hell. They are so different to their sibling who is kind and helpful

It's no surprise really. Pretty much the same as a teacher would prefer a child who is kind and helpful, as opposed to an annoying one.

When they're not your kids, you're not bound by unconditional love for them, so it's really natural to like a better behaved kid in your situation.

I think my SIL prefers my niece, as opposed to my nephews. She helps with babysitting and she's quite compassionate, especially when SIL had infertility problems.

One of DC had a phase of being mean to her sister and cheeky/naughty, but despite disliking her behaviour, I didn't like or love her any less than my other DC.The

I don't actually like either of my SC. Or, more accurately, I don't like how they are parented and the resulting behaviour and attitudes. It's not the kids' fault really. They're just kids. Of course they're going to be spoilt, rude and demanding and aggressive (SS) or manipulative (SD) when that's what their parents model, allow and even encourage. They could be lovely people if they had different parents.

I can't do anything about their mother's choices. And she has no obligations towards me. But I end up beyond frustrated with their father who just allows behaviours that have a damaging effect on this whole household because he's too lazy to parent and who will lie, gaslight me and try to pretend that I am the problem for having put boundaries in place to protect myself and my children. He does have obligations towards me and regularly fails in them.

@FishyFriday - I could have written your post.

[quote Hiphopboppertybop99]@FishyFriday - I could have written your post. [/quote]
It's crap, isn't it.

My husband seems to want to just blame me and claim that I 'hate his kids'.

But I don't hate his children. I hate the behaviours that have such a negative effect on our life. And I do blame my husband for the behaviour because it's a result of his parenting choices (or his choice to try to abdicate responsibility).

He tries to claim that he's powerless and it's all his ex. But... he's their father. It's his responsibility to try to help his children to learn more positive ways of behaving, regardless what their mother does. He chose to have not one but two children with the woman. He knew who she was and what her personal values were. He knew what kind of parent she was when he agreed they should have another. He has to live with the consequences of his choices.