Step parent going to wedding

[Bailsgd]

Having a chat to a friend of mine about weddings and when people don’t want to attend got me thinking about my wedding

So a couple of years ago I got married I am an adult step child and a step parent myself. So just wanted others opinions on this

When I told my mum the date of the wedding she got all excited a couple of days later she tells me that her husband won’t be attending as he can’t get time off work this was 7 months before the wedding date

My mum was upset about this my response was well all I really care about is that your coming she did and we all had a nice day.

My mum got married when I was 21 he has never made an effort with myself or my brother which was fine as we all have busy lives and just got on with our own

But after this chat it got me thinking what would I do if I was invited to my step child wedding I would go and even be nice around the stepchild mother even after all the things she has done to us as it’s the child day not mine

I'd do whatever my stepchildren genuinely wanted. If they think it will be too awkward for me and mum to be in the same room I won't kick up a fuss.

My step mum was a welcome guest at both of my weddings and I was a bridesmaid at theirs.

I’m close to my own step children and would love to be part of occasions including weddings in their lives when they’re older but their mum is a loon so if it’s easier to skip them for their sake that’s what I’ll happily do.

I’m a step child and step parent; i like my stepdad but he and my mum married when I was an adult so he’s not in a father role for me so if he hadn’t been able to come I’d have been disappointed for my mum but not heart broken.
I’ve been in my step child’s life since she was 6 and I’d be devastated not to go to her wedding; I would do whatever I needed to do to keep her own mum happy so that DSD had a good day.

I’m a step child and I’m a step mum myself, my stepmum will be taking pride of place at my wedding because I love her and I wouldn’t care about my mums feelings on it, If she wouldn’t want to come because of my step mum then thats her problem. However I’m under no illusion about my step children, I know for a fact their mums would never let me at their weddings so have made peace with that while they are still young 😂

I think it’s a tricky one, nobody thinks about grown up blended families 😂

I know my SC's mother would kick up one hell of a stink if I were to attend such an event in the future, so I don't really know what would happen in that situation as I know my DP would be insistent that I come and she'd have to suck it up. Would come down to the kids I guess.

My own DC could end up with a SM and I won't cause a fuss about that in the future. If they like her and she's part of their life, she should absolutely be there. If my ex-DH had a problem with my new-DH (Which he does) I'd expect him to get the fuck on with it for the sake of the kids, if I were doing the same!

I wouldn’t even consider not being invited to my DSS wedding, he’s been in my life for 12 years since age 6… I fully expect us all to sit at the top table… her DH, my DH and I …. One huge dysfunctional family. With our DC (DH and I) running around like loons 🤣🤣

I doubt I’ll be invited to my DSD’s wedding, if she ever has one, so it wouldn’t be a shock to me not to get invited and I’ve already dealt with that in my head.I’m not sure her dad would even get an invite given the way things are at the minute (teenage DSD refusing any contact currently) and that would destroy him (which mum knows and wouldn’t care about). My kids would invite my DH to their weddings but I’m not sure what they’d do about their own father whom they currently are NC with. If they invited him and his partner/gf (if he had one) I’d not be bothered about the partner being there but would have to bite my tongue with regard to their dad (which obviously I’d do for their sakes).

I had my step mum on the top table alongside my dad and mum at my wedding- she's been in my life since I was 3 and I consider myself to have 3 parents.

Had my step dad at my wedding but not my bio dad.

If my DD ever gets married I fully expect her step mum to be there. I have no problems with her, we've never really met, I've waved to her a couple of times when she picked DD up.

It would be DDs day, even if I hated the woman I would suck it up for her sake.

I think it dependson the circumstances. If the step parent has been in the brides/Grooms life along time, and it’s not going to cause friction on the day, then they should be invited. However, if only a short time, especially if step child was an adult, then maybe not so much.

I'm a step mother and have been to both my stepson's weddings, I would be quite hurt if not included. They lived with us full time as teens. Their dad has long since passed away but they have my children as siblings. I get on fine with their mother- any previous awkwardness has long since been water under the bridge.

It hadn't really occurred to me that our situation was relatively unusual until coming on here, because it is just how things are for us and I have little experience of family and friends with blended families beside my own. But DH and I, and his ex wife and her second (now ex) DH, attended each others weddings, and when DSS2 got married, DS was an usher (although DSS1 wasn't asked to be) and DSS2 invited my parents, sister and grandmother, he sees them as part of his family. We have some beautiful family photos that were taken at the wedding, some that are with all parents and step parents, some that are with DH and I and separate ones with DSS's mum, ex stepdad and his ex stepdad's new partner, who are all great friends.

The ex wife and I aren't close at all, we have generally got on fairly well though, and DH and the ex stepdad loathed each other and avoided interacting for the most part (she left DH for him) but I always got on OK with him. It has really opened my eyes that other families have different circumstances and I can see why that is the case, but it is sad if families can't put their differences aside for one day if the stepchildren want you there at their wedding. But as I say, everyone has their own situations.

Is this really a question? I don’t especially warm to DSS’ mother but I don’t decline invites to important events (and actually less important events than a wedding) on the basis she might be there. In the absence of abuse etc I think it’s normal for everyone to go.

I was at my stepsons wedding - with his mum - in fact me, my DH and her and the kids all ended up renting a cottage together nearby. The bride's mum spoke to her ex husband at the wedding and exchanged a couple of greetings through gritted teeth with the bride's step mother.

We all found that a bit childishly amusing!

I would do what SDs wanted. I think they would invite me if nothing changes between now and the time they are old enough to get married. Me and their mum have been to events are friendly with each other, although I wouldn't call us friends.

I think that was a pretty poor show from your stepdad OP, he should have attended your wedding.

I would attend my SC's wedding for sure, and would be really upset if they didn't invite me.

My df and his dw came to my wedding. My dm wasn't there... Sm had a face like a smacked arse all day and they sloped off after the ceremony and missed the reception.. Didn't even say goodbye or bring a card...