SC staying over during covid.

[Teaandsymphony123]

Now the government have lifted restrictions, does anyone else feel nervous about SC staying over.
My DH has a teenager (who he's maintained contact with) but SC hasn't stayed at our house since last year.
How do others feel about mixing households, especially teenagers?

Thank you for your replies. Sometimes it's good to get another perspective.
I only have been going to work because I needed to. I honestly think I would have given up in January as I was scared.
I think its time to get and mix with a few other people.

@Lbnc2021 thank you for your insight. Its me who mostly sorts and does the childcare (working in a school).

What has your DH made of this?

We've carried on as normal. It didn't even occur to me not to and we would probably have done even if it was against the rules. Aren't children bring tested twice a week anyway?

@KylieKoKo no SC won't take the test. I do twice weekly so I obviously know if I have it or not.

@DistrictCommissioner fine, because it hasn't affected their contact. It's only at my house.

There's also a distance, so in normal times, contact would be say half near there and half here (for holiday visits). Instead, contact has been there all of the time.

I wonder how your stepchild feels about not having been allowed to go to your dh main residence and not seeing the rest of the family. Sorry but considering exemptions were specifically made for children in this situation I do continue to find it odd that they have not stayed with you for so long. How did it come about? Did you suggest it?

@MarcelineMissouri yes, only after becoming ill. I was ill for most of last year so that was out. Every time I had to take a covid test.
SC is absolutely fine, they spend time together and do their hobby together.
I saw SC last summer then not at Christmas. DH did. We are spending time together soon, I'll just feel so much more relaxed when we are all vaccinated.

I think you were very unreasonable not letting the children come to your H's house for the last year. there was a specific exemption for children of separated parents.

And yes, I think you're being hysterical now. My ex didn't let his children into his house for a year. He says it's because his partner didn't want them there. I think he's a cunt quite frankly

@HelenHywater but did it affect contact. My decision hasn't affected contact at all.

No not hysterical, just careful.

Whilst I agree that the most important contact is between your dh and his child, presumably you also have a relationship with them? My dh would find it very odd and hurtful if I chose not to see sd for a whole year for whatever reason. And so would my sd.

I honestly cannot understand your logic OP.

Your worried... but your DH sleeps in the same bed as you right? He walks through your home after seeing his own Son!!

Absolutely disgusting tbh!

Do you & your DH have kids together?

[quote Teaandsymphony123]@HelenHywater but did it affect contact. My decision hasn't affected contact at all.

No not hysterical, just careful.[/quote]
Nope. It's completely irrational.

My children now see my exH in a different house to the one he lives in with his partner. They still know and I still have to explain why. And of course it's affected contact. He doesn't see his children in his own home. His partner has banished his children. They will know that. It's just cruel and selfish. I have zero respect for my exH putting up with this from his partner.

@Teaandsymphony123 just ignore the nasty comments - every family does this differently & people are entitled to feel how they feel about covid/lockdowns etc.
My dc kept up regular contact with their dad but we jointly calmed it down when they were in school as we felt there was too much risk with his two small ones in primary & our 15 year old in secondary & our 18 year old in uni. We felt the bubbles were getting too big. All kids were fine & suffered no ill effects, lack of love or worry that dad & sm didn't want them around. Exh had covid so he was fully on board with not mixing households when the dc were at school. Instead he met them for distances walks & FaceTimed regularly.
All that being said we've had a very strict & long lockdown in Ireland & there wasn't that much school going on.
Your dh kept contact with his child which is the main thing.
I think coming out of lockdown is very hard for many people so be kind to yourself.

Oh good lord was waiting for some poster to come out and bemoan about the poor children seeing their father but not in his home with his partner. Banished? 😂😂😂😂.

Contact continued unaffected. Everyone has been impacted by covid differently and it’s for no one to judge whether the OP is ‘hysterical’ or not.

OP, do what you want. His Dc are seeing their dad, take it slowly.

The replies are just awful. Nobody here has lived your experience. One of my friends is still suffering from long covid, it is heartbreaking - she can barely walk and has no independence.

I didn't get covid but was fighting a brutal battle with cancer. Covid could have finished me off. My parent died. I never got to say goodbye or even attend the tiny funeral.

It is not hysterical to be vigilant when you have compromised health. The guidelines are for the masses. You just want to feel safe and that is understandable. I am sure when you have passed the adjustment period it will feel ok.

My SC came over throughout the whole pandemic and everyone was just fine!

@SickOfCrap

My SC came over throughout the whole pandemic and everyone was just fine!

What great advice.

I’m confused your stepchild was allowed to stay with you but you chose for them not to and now they are still allowed to stay with you so why are you changing the set up?

I'm so sorry you got long Covid. I get that people see the Covid risk differently and it will feel odd to you having another person in your home if you are concerned about the risk. This is probably the safest person you could have stay as you are already exposed through your partner. I've found it tricky to adjust to the risk being different now to when it was in the winter as I stopped following all the updates and things but I found it helped to see a graph as it is a lot lower now.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy seeing him again.

I am struggling to see the logic behind that arrangement. If youf SC gets Covid then your DH could catch it and bring it to your house. That's how viruses spread.

It's not hysterical to be careful in a pandemic.. everyone has to do what they feel comfortable and safe with. Reducing risk is an individual matter and each person's circumstances are different. What works for one, doesn't work for the other etc.

OP be kind to yourself. These lockdowns etc have been very hard and with restrictions lifting it's natural for there to be anxiety. Take it slowly, in small steps and hopefully you'll build some confidence. Your DC kept in contact with their Dad and that is all that matters.

I think if the kids are refusing to test, that’s fine for them, but they stay at their dads house.

If they were testing before coming to your house to see their dad there, that’s a different matter

Keep things the way they are for now, they stay with him in his house until you’re fully jabbed and a lot better or until they test (like they are supposed to for school)

I know someone with long Covid, it’s what terrifies me more than anything

If they are not going to make a small effort for your health, you don’t have to have them stay over in your home.

So, you live with your DH but his daughter hasn’t been allowed to come to his house for well over a year, despite the fact it’s been allowed and also that you work in a school and must be seeing hundreds of people a week?!