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Step-parenting

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Original poster

How much info can exs partner request?

18 replies

Sparklebrandy · 26/03/2021 21:50

Hi all, my ex is having to take his DD mum to court for more time with his DD. I just wondered what kind of info his ex will be allowed - as we will be living together soon. I'm not keen on her having my address but I can get over that. What I don't want is her being able to get info about my own daughter - ex is a bit of a stalker and has managed to find out all sorts of bits of random info about me. Have blocked her on everything but don't want my daughter's privacy being invaded by the court process - my partner is self representing in court - just wants every other weekend with his DD, however I just have no one to ask questions...

OP posts:
Blendiful · 27/03/2021 00:39

I am pretty sure that unless there are safeguarding concerns she can’t request any info. Just about the DC’s dad and his life and his ability to care for her every other weekend. If she had reason to believe there may be safeguarding concerns this could be looked into, but it can’t be just her say so, and even if she makes something up a simple look into it by the professionals involved would clear that up.

Even if there were safuegaurding concerns she wouldn’t be given the info, just advised against allowing contact. What isn’t connected directly to her or her DC (their dad) is not her business and she would not be told any details. Confidentiality

KylieKoKo · 27/03/2021 01:29

I can't see why she would have a right to know anything about you and your daughter as you don't actually live together. Maybe it would be wise to hold off moving in together until you see how this pans out.

Maybe someone on the legal forum would have more information on exactly what she can and can't request info about.

RickiTarr · 27/03/2021 01:33

You’re moving in with your ex? Like reconciling?

Aimee1987 · 27/03/2021 07:18

@RickiTarr

You’re moving in with your ex? Like reconciling?
I read it as she was moving in with her partner but the partners ex is refusing contact so there will be a court case.
RickiTarr · 27/03/2021 07:52

Hi all, my ex is having to take his DD mum to court for more time with his DD.

Sounds like reconciling.

I just wondered what kind of info his ex will be allowed - as we will be living together soon.

In which case don’t move back in until the court case is concluded.

rainbowandglitter · 27/03/2021 08:07

Are you moving in with your ex?

Original poster
Sparklebrandy · 27/03/2021 10:02

My mistake!! Meant my partner not my ex!!!

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 27/03/2021 11:40

Unless there’s some kind of safeguarding reasons that she can’t have info about your DD; what kind of info are you worrying about? It is likely that she would be given your address unless she’s a threat of any kind. She can’t really ask for much about you either.

Easterbunnygettingready · 27/03/2021 11:53

My then bf never figured in the case of me and exh...
Even when we got married..

RedMarauder · 27/03/2021 12:14

She can't have information about your child , as our child isn't related to her. She isn't allowed information about you unless you have been in a relationship with her, are related to her or there are safe guarding concerns. Some ex partners do make the latter up in Child Arrangements cases, but judges are use to it and most can see through it.

She is allowed your address and can even have your address if her child stays overnight with you, unless she is a threat.

MeridianB · 27/03/2021 15:58

Red, why would the ex be allowed OP’s address if the child’s father does not live there?

NorthernSpirit · 27/03/2021 16:57

I had the same concerns about my partners EW (who is a batshit crazy).

She demanded to know information such as my DOB, who I worked for & my address. We didn’t live together and the kids never visited my house. If I ever saw the kids it was at their fathers address (we had dated for 2 years at this point).

When my OH refused to give her this information she stopped contact.

He took her back to court for breaching the contact order (again) and the judge told her she had no right to have this information.

It’s a form of control. Set your boundaries.

When we did eventually live together and she was given our address she turned up at our doorstep yelling abuse (because she wasn’t happy about something) and the police had to be called to remove her.

I repeat.... set your boundaries. They’ve been divorced over 9 years, the batshittery never stops.

Littlepaws18 · 28/03/2021 09:41

Representing yourself is not a great idea. A solicitor will be able to get you a good result, but on your own you just don't have the knowledge to navigate the system. I took my ex to court he lost and he wasn't represented.

As for addresses etc. You can request that on the court documents they remain hidden. Now my case invoked domestic violence so it was granted I'm not sure whether they would in your case.

Theunamedcat · 28/03/2021 09:48

The address thing you may have to get over it is unfair and breeds hostility if your expecting her to hand over children to go an unknown location it put pressure on the children to "keep secrets" from the other parent which is never a good idea

Re your daughter, what information are you trying to keep from her? Are you going to prevent his child from talking about her too? How are you going to manage this realistically

RedMarauder · 28/03/2021 13:01

@MeridianB sorry the last bit was incorrectly worded it should say -

She is allowed your address if her child stays overnight with you, unless she is a threat.

If the OP doesn't want to give out her address then she needs to avoid having her partner's child stay overnight and then the OP shouldn't live with her partner.

This ignores the fact that lots of people's addresses can easily be found through public records, and the child can show their mother where the OP lives.

sassbott · 28/03/2021 13:10

If the child will have staying overnight contact at yours, then the courts will expect your address to be disclosed. They do think it’s basic rights that a parent knows the address of where a child is sleeping.

You/ your child/ have nothing to do with any of these proceedings. Only if she raises safeguarding concerns could you be dragged into it all.
Why is EOW contact not taking place? Is there any history of allegations here?

Iyiyi · 04/04/2021 17:53

DP was involved with social services for issues with his ex’s older children - not their children together - and when he went to one meeting, my children’s names were written up on a white board which listed everyone in their lives, and he was asked for their dates of birth, the school they attended, and their fathers name. His stepchildren had never met me or my children, or been to our house - we had lived together about 6 months.

Iyiyi · 04/04/2021 17:54

My children are not DPs children, and we don’t have children together, btw!

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