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Favouritism

9 replies

ihavenowords30 · 10/03/2021 20:41

Anyone with multiple SC dramatically favour one over the others, for whatever reason?

OP posts:
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AnneLovesGilbert · 10/03/2021 23:50

Not dramatically but I’ve got two and have found one easier than the other at many times.

BrittyBrassic · 10/03/2021 23:54

I have a favourite yes. Although I'd never say it obviously.

I must admit though that the older they get, the more I'm finding the other much more enjoyable to be around. I really struggled with him when he was younger.

ihavenowords30 · 11/03/2021 02:19

Ok that makes me feel better... I have three and (14,15 &18) I've been around for 7 years while they are all generally nice, 1 is just a pleasure to have around the house, helps with the chores, helps with our toddler, keeps the room tidy etc nothing is too much trouble.

The other two are lazy (literally to the point of eating out of Tupperware is all the bowls are in the dishwasher etc ) the room is a state, unless directly asked to do something they would happily sit on games all day Thursday- Monday unless to pop their heads down to see what's for eating or to demand dads attention.

All this I can mostly ignore but I find myself treating the helpful one to much more ie, I bought some new expensive trainers as they were saving really hard for a pair so I said it was my treat this time, they all get pocket money but I sent this child more most months for the help they do such as they watched my son for a few hours when I was really busy and 1 hour turned into 5/6 (dad was working) I kept calling to check they were ok and they had made lunch, took him on a walk etc I was so grateful that I sent them £20 as I said they don't come to ours and be expected to babysit for that long, bearing in the the other two didn't lift a finger to help at all but happily moaned about not getting money.

I've now been accused of favouritism by the in laws (jokingly but seriously also) to which I said (not around the 3 kids) yes I do have one as it's pretty bloody hard not too! And if I want to go above and beyond for this child because they deserve it I will, I don't feel the need to treat everyone equal when they don't act equal.

OP posts:
MeridianB · 11/03/2021 07:44

That’s really nice @ihavenowords30. I don’t see what you’ve described as favouritism. It’s more like reward for effort/chores and incentivising the other two.

aSofaNearYou · 11/03/2021 09:21

I agree it doesn't sound like favouritism, just natural rewards for being more thoughtful.

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/03/2021 09:40

Your in laws don’t live in your home so have no idea what’s really going on, or a right to express an opinion.

Trisolaris · 11/03/2021 09:44

Often parents will give children extra money if they do jobs on top of their normal chores. If you don’t do then you don’t get the money! Sounds fair to me.

Youseethethingis · 11/03/2021 09:58

You’re teaching the other two a valuable life lesson. That’s fair enough.

Blendiful · 11/03/2021 10:13

I agree I don’t see a problem with what you’ve done. If the other 2 want the same, they should watch and learn and do the same things to earn the money.

I don’t think it sounds like favouritism either, but rewarding good behaviour which as you say is deserved.

I find in laws always like to find things to pick at. Let them get on with it. As the others have said they don’t live in your house so can’t pass judgement on something they don’t have the full information or picture on.

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