What would you do in this situation?

[trainingdayy]

I'm just curious as to what other people would do in this situation. I know it's a bit vague!

If you had 2 DC (different dads and not with either of them), one a toddler and one an adolescent, and the older one had an evening appointment, would you ask the older DC's Dad to take them to the appointment, or would you ask the younger DC's Dad to look after their child so you could take your older one to the appointment?

I hope that makes sense!

Probably easier for Dad to take him but both options work. Or you take him and the toddler.

Why?

It depends what it is.

If it’s a dental check up or after school club then his Dad can take him. If it’s something you need or prefer to there for then you go and ask toddler dad for help.

Too many variables to give a definitive answer. It would depend on what the appointment was for, how late it was, what relationship was like with both exes, what exes’ relationship was like with kids, etc, etc.

Neither option sounds ‘wrong’ though.

What’s the step-parenting angle?

I'd as the older child if they wanted me or dad. The appointment is theirs so I'd ask their preference

It would depend on the appointment. Some things my dd would have been more comfortable me taking her so DH also father of my youngest have her.

If I had no childcare and dh was in work and it was evening I would ask dd dad to take her other times rather than have my younger child out late if possible.

Whichever was easier on the day depending on all possible factors.

Nobody could answer this for someone else.

What's the step parent bit? Is an example annoyed you are leaving a dc with another person?

Is an EX PARTNER, not example

Both, and then I'd go out for the evening. Hypothetically.

Depends on a few things.

Are you the partner of one of the dads?

What's the issue?

I would probably take both of my children, and if not possible, I would hire a sitter to take care of the younger one. I am not a proponent of asking for favors or accepting favors that I am not in a position to reciprocate. Is this the kind of favor that either of these dads would ask of you.

I do not think that a dad taking his child to an evening appointment is a favor. If it is something that needs to happen and you are unable to attend, the dad is the logical alternative.

I'd prefer to ask the older child's dad to help out as the younger child's dad has nothing to do with the older child. But depends on the family dynamics.

Surely it depends on the nature of the appointment and how important you felt it was and also which parent was available to help?

Yes depends on the appointment but I'm guessing it is something you want to be at in order for you to ask this question, so I'd probably ask the toddler's dad to have him overnight.

It would firstly depend on the nature of the appointment and whether I felt it important that I was personally there. Secondly I'd factor in my co parenting relationship with each parent, and work out who was likely to be more amenable to supporting me. If dad of elder child for example was renowned for being a pain in the arse and making my life difficult, while dad of younger child was more helpful, I'd be asking dad of younger child to look after his child while I took older child to the appointment... and vice versa.

Either dad should be willing to have their own child surely?