Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Original poster

Tell me I'm not wrong?!

25 replies

GoodLordyPete · 13/01/2021 17:07

To think my DSC are too old to be doing this.

One 11, the other just about to be 10 shortly.

I am ALWAYS cleaning up piss from around the toilet/floor when they are here. It's disgusting.

I have mentioned it to DH several times and he has mentioned it to them too in a sort of 'be careful when you're going to the toilet please, thanks, off you go' kind of way.

But it's still happening. AIBU to this these ages are too old to be doing this now and if the lightly lightly approach DH has been taking so far hasn't worked he needs to have a more serious chat about it and say the next time it happens he will not be happy.

It's pure laziness and not caring to actually look what you're doing/rushing when going to the toilet imo and they are too old for it now.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Pleaseaddcaffine · 13/01/2021 17:14

Just tell dp to tell bem or you tell them to clean it up of they make the mess. That should ensure it gets resolved going forwards.
Also if you notice it make dp clean it if he won't make them do it, it's not your 'job'

MeridianB · 13/01/2021 18:31

Not normal in my experience and I definitely wouldn’t be cleaning it up.

Youseethethingis · 13/01/2021 18:31

As above.

He makes them clean it up or does it himself.
Leaving you to clear up his pubescent children’s piss is categorically not acceptable.

LatentPhase · 13/01/2021 18:31

Well if urine on floor is an expected part of parenting for him... he can do it surely?

On discovering the offending drips I would from now on summon DP and hand him a cloth and some cleaning product.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/01/2021 18:35

Not normal, and why are you cleaning it? Have your husband clean it up every single time, and he'll get much more serious about this quite quickly.

Tigertealeaves · 13/01/2021 18:55

DSC are 10 and 12 here and we never have piss on the floor. Agree with the above, not your job.

aSofaNearYou · 13/01/2021 19:16

I would just tell them to clean it themselves, and do with my SS who is younger than them.

user47000000000 · 13/01/2021 19:22

grim. you're not wrong.

Unless your husband pisses on the floor and you've tolerated it...

FrazzledFTM · 13/01/2021 19:58

They can absolutely clean it themselves. I'd also try and envoke some form of lesson in consideration to try and stop it from happening again. For example, say to them "next time I go for a wee I'm going to pee on the floor a bit and I'd like you to clean it up", when they inevitably pull a face or say that it's gross, say something along the lines of "so why is it ok for me to clean up your pee from the floor", or "what do you think I should do with the pee that goes on the floor?...Ok so you can do that too next time you do it".

Worked for me with DSD not putting her sanitary towels in the bin. It's never happened since, nor at her mums.

ShinyGreenElephant · 13/01/2021 20:40

Definitely not normal and I agree they clean it up or he does. Dsd doesn't wipe properly so her knickers are always covered in poo and wee, then she used to leave them all over hers and DDs room. DH used to say oh don't mention it she will be embarrassed but it was constant and not fair on DD to have them strewn around her room. I started asking DH to come and move them every single time I find a pair and surprise surprise hes now much stricter about it with her. Definitely make him deal with it and be a broken record about it until he gets the message

ShinyGreenElephant · 13/01/2021 20:42

Dsd is 10 too by the way

BlowDryRat · 13/01/2021 21:46

Definitely too old. My DS is 10 and we haven't had any misses for well over a year. He used to try weeing while holding a book or his Switch with one hand Hmm I put my foot down very firmly and brought him back to clear up every time. It soon stopped.

Why are you clearing it up anyway? Your DH needs to either do it himself or get his kids to do it.

hellasciously · 13/01/2021 21:47

Two boys 9&8 have the odd miss but mostly ok.

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/01/2021 23:15

That’s disgusting. Also wondering why you’re cleaning it up?! Every time you find a mess get him to make them do it or he does it himself.

DSS was a bit crap at this for a while when he was 8 or 9 - he’d forget to lift the seat and leave wee on it. DH kept a very close eye and told me to tell him the minute I noticed any.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 14/01/2021 07:55

My stepson was doing this til he was about 12!! But I was not clearing it up, my husband was. It only stopped when he started making him clean it himself.

I do remember him coming downstairs after a poo and saying to me 'you might want to go and clean the toilet.' and me replying 'erm I don't think so, there's bleach by the loo, you're old enough to do it yourself!'

So yes, what everyone else said.

Dollyparton3 · 14/01/2021 08:48

We used to get regular skid marks in our toilet and every time I'd call my husband to sort it out, he'd then tackle the culprit. It hasn't happened in our house for a long time now

sassbott · 14/01/2021 10:50

Gross. Not remotely normal.

This happened to me once. I walked into the downstairs toilet. Smeared with poo, revolting. Said child younger but old enough to be know what state a toilet should be left in. I walked into the kitchen, told her father to go and address the issue (namely gently pull said child to one side and gently just show how the toilet was left and to explain that either they need to clean it up / get an adult to help but cannot leave said toilet in such a state).

He flounced off, cleaned it up himself and told me I was out of order for not just ‘sorting it’. Said child is 8. At 8, my children would have been mortified at leaving a toilet smeared with poo (seat and side bowl).

Time and again things like this are just epic parenting fails. What happens when these kids go to other people’s houses? It’s revolting behaviour.

sassbott · 14/01/2021 10:52

Needless to say I bluntly informed him that I was not ever going to wipe his children’s excretion off the toilet (unless they came and asked for help). They are not toddlers and I did not expect anyone to leave communal toilets in such a disgusting state.

Original poster
GoodLordyPete · 14/01/2021 11:32

Thanks.

To clarify, if DH is here I do ask him to sort it.

However, 9/10 it's me as I'm the one in the house in the day. So for example, yesterday DH got up, took them to school and then I found the toilet like that. I can't leave it all day without eventually succumbing and cleaning it because... Gross Envy Sad

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 14/01/2021 11:49

Tell him/them they will need to make it part of the routine to check the toilet before leaving for school. The more awkward it is for them, the more likely they will stop doing it.

Witchymclovely · 14/01/2021 17:27

Non problem

SnowFields · 14/01/2021 17:29

Not wrong at all. Make them clean it up.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/01/2021 17:31

In that case he needs to automatically be checking the bathroom/loo every time they’ve used it. Any complaints and you have to ask him why he feels it’s acceptable for you to be cleaning up someone else’s bodily fluids.

ShinyGreenElephant · 14/01/2021 19:41

Agree, he needs to be checking the toilet before they leave. Serious consequences for the kids every time you have to clean it. They will stop soon as it affects them

FallingStar21 · 14/01/2021 21:22

Is it a toilet you can avoid using? If yes, just keep the lid down and door closed..and be patient. Your DSC/DH will eventually have to sort it out :) Though I dont understand the DH attitude. At 11-12 DSC should know better and certainly clean their own mess.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread