Help help help.........
I'm at my wits end with it all basically my partners ex stopped contact we had to take her to court and was granted what we asked for anyway we was told to go for 50/50 custody and for some unknown reason my partner didn't (I think it was to protect his ex personally) instead he went for every other weekend and the holidays he felt that was fair to his ex.
Anyway we are now 4 months into the order and DSD is very happy here with us but her mum is telling us DSD is kicking off at the thought of coming and it's effecting her mental health.
My partner asked his daughter in a child friendly way if this was the case and if she really was being mentally disturbed by coming to us he will discharge the order and DSD can see us when she is ready because NONE feels good about making a child mentally ill!!!!
DSD said she doesn't understand why she isn't allowed to call us from her own phone at home she has to use her mummy's when her mummy is in the room she will be in trouble if she rings or FaceTimes us without her mum there but when her mum does try and get DSD to call from mums phone not DSD she stays silent and looks like she wants to cry?
I don't understand it it's fucking weird when the court order come into place we brought DSD a phone put her mums number in it and it has credit we told her she is welcome to go off anytime in her room and ring her mum if she misses her which is understandable but even that she does not phone or text her mum when she's here she says she doesn't want too and she will probably be sleeping so she will see her when she gets home.
Anyway DSD said she loves coming and looks forward to coming she has told us she does not want to upset mummy by being happy about coming and mummy gets very ill every time contact is due!
Anyway my partner messaged DSD mum and said they need to talk DSD is being effected and we all need to get along for her sake!
When he went there she said our solicitor isn't even qualified and it's all been made up (the court order) even though a judge and cafcass signed it she still is adamant this is not a legal document is that mental health illness or denial?
She has had social services involved 3 times due to poor mental health and anxiety we are so upset for her and we want to help but she thinks we are trying to emotionally blackmail her with the court order??
She does not want me involved as DSD stepmom and will only talk to my partner alone so she can shout at him and go into there past 8 years ago!
She told my partner that if she hadn't met her new boyfriend 6th one of 2020 she would of killed herself so my partner said basically if you don't have a boyfriend you will kill yourself she said thats not the case?? CONFUSED!
How in the hell do I help this woman please please please give me guidance my partner wants to phone social services as he is concerned for his daughters welfare she told us mummy is always angry and crying and she isn't allowed to tell us or teachers so please don't say anything!! WTF!
My DSD looks like a 40 year old depressed woman she is with us for one day and looking back to normal we play at the park do activities she told me that most of the time she doesn't even go outside eat a dinner or wash in a whole week just sits on PlayStation with her brothers but she thinks this is amazing and always gives us a dirty look and asks why when we say about going out (which is normal) as soon as we get to the park she's fine but it takes a lot to get her there.
She said she loves coming to us and will always want to but she doesn't like that we don't have dominoes and she has to go to bed at 9 that sucks haha.
She said she has heard mum and neighbours say bad things about me and daddy and wants everyone to get along but it makes mummy too ill.
Should we call social services or should we have one last go at talking with her I don't think she understands the implications of what could happen if she has already had social involved 3 times there is only so many times they sign you off please help my DSD is suffering and her mother is very ill by the sounds of it but too angry to communicate.
Thanks in advance.