Worried about DSD

[whatsthedeal]

DP and I are getting worried about DSD (3) and her Mum.

Her Mum is constantly on the phone about some minor problem or other to DP, not that we mind, but she really doesn't seem to be coping very well.

She had been staying with her parents, but has now moved to her own place and started work. She keeps saying to DP that he has no idea what it's like looking after DSD all the time.

She is going out at the weekends when she has DSD, and getting her parents to look after DSD, we have DSD every other weekend, so DP doesn't see why she can't wait until then.

DP has offered to have DSD for a while as she doesn't seem to be coping with the new flat/job and she freaked out and basically told him to F* off and die.

What can we/I do to help, or do we just have to sit back and wait for her to be ok again?

JUst for the record, I do actually like her, and genuinely want to help

What are you worried about exactly?

Are you worried that DSD isn't being properly cared for when she is with her mother? If so, do you have any material evidence of that?

Basically yes.

We don't have any evidence of that at all, but when DP has spoken to her she seems very unhappy and very slightly unstable like she isn't coping with life atm. It's just a worry that if she feels this way, DSD might not be happy.

Also the last few times DP has taken DSD back to her Mums after a weekend with us she has been very unhappy and last time was hysterical to the point that DP had to stay and look after her until she fell asleep. I appreciate that this is partly to be expected as she will miss her Dad, but it never used to happen until they moved out of her GPs house.

Difficult because at that age they aren't terribly articulate about their feelings.

I don't know what you can do if there aren't any material / physical manifestations of neglect.