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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Hand holding please

24 replies

PusheenLove · 05/01/2021 15:52

Guys I need some support. OH just told me that his ex-MIL has Covid. She was in contact with his kids on xmas day. The kids have not been tested by BM has (negative). I'm on the shielding list (autoimmune disease) and it seems OH is having the kids over on Thursday as planned. He doesn't seem to care about my life. This is very out of character for him. I'm sat here in a daze. Do I really not matter to him?

Where to go from here?

OP posts:
NiceTwin · 05/01/2021 15:56

Who is BM?

If the children have been in contact, they should isolate for 10 days.
You need to have a word with him.

DecemberSun · 05/01/2021 15:56

Tell him they can't come. They should be isolating, surely.

NiceTwin · 05/01/2021 15:57

Actually, scrub that.

It depends when she tested positive as to whether they need to isolate, plus more than 10 days have passed since Christmas Day. They should be okay to visit.

JengaNonConfirming · 05/01/2021 15:59

If they haven't seen their Gran since Christmas day and they're not coming to yours until Thursday, then that's two weeks. So if they aren't exhibiting symptoms then, then aren't they saylfe to visit you??

Oswin · 05/01/2021 16:02

Has she seen the kids since xmas day?

Original poster
PusheenLove · 05/01/2021 16:02

How long is the incubation period? Kids don't necessarily show symptoms?

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 05/01/2021 16:02

They haven’t seen her since Christmas Day. They will be fine to see you.

Oh and, BM is considered offensive. She’s their mother, not their “birth” mother....

DecemberSun · 05/01/2021 16:12

Oh and, BM is considered offensive. She’s their mother, not their “birth” mother....

Not by everyone. It's commonly used on other forums less nitpicky than this one.

sunlight81 · 05/01/2021 16:26

You've used the word birth mother ... no one will focus on anything but this and you will be slated eternally!! Shame on you Wink

Ur hubby is being a Knob, has he not thought it through? Is there a reason he must see the kids? Court order etc? Does he feel guilty about the split etc?

Perhaps come at it from a different direction with him. Suggest he postpone (rather than cancel) the visit as if ur ill they may have to spend significant time away ... how old are they? If they are older they will certainly understand.

Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2021 16:29

If they haven’t had contact with her since Christmas Day then I think you will be fine, that’s almost 2 weeks ago by the time you have contact with them?

Could you get dh to take them to the park and keep them outside as much as possible?

Are you on the shielding list, high risk?

Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2021 16:30

Sorry, just seen you are in the shielding list. I still think the risk is tiny seeing as contact was over 10 days ago.

Doingitaloneandproud · 05/01/2021 16:38

That'll be 14 days since she saw them, if they haven't had symptoms they're fine to come. He obviously wants to see his children understandably.

Original poster
PusheenLove · 05/01/2021 16:39

@Lovemusic33

If they haven’t had contact with her since Christmas Day then I think you will be fine, that’s almost 2 weeks ago by the time you have contact with them?

Could you get dh to take them to the park and keep them outside as much as possible?

Are you on the shielding list, high risk?

Yes I'm on the list. I've had the Gov phonecall, email and text warning.

I'm confused by the incubation period for kids, as they can often have it without knowing.

Sorry for using BM. I didn't know it was offensive.

OP posts:
newlife79 · 05/01/2021 16:46

I'm not in a high risk group but even I would be discouraging their visit in these circumstances. Could you suggest they make up the visit next week instead? I think in the current situation, needing to skip or change visits is to be expected and a responsible response.

sassbott · 05/01/2021 19:26

Sorry but isolation period from last known contact is 10 days. By thurs it will be nearly 2 weeks.
The question is has the ex seen the MiL more recently? (which increases risks slightly more) or is the last date everyone saw the MIL Xmas day?

What’s your expectation of what is safe? I mean I think this sounds fine to me, but what would you deem appropriate?

Also does this mean this is your partners first contact since Xmas? I’m not surprised he wants to see his kids, he hasn’t seen them for 2 weeks

lunar1 · 05/01/2021 21:35

The incubation period is the same for children so if they haven't had contact with someone positive for 10 days they are fine to see their dad.

Tiredoftattler · 05/01/2021 22:49

Why not just call your doctor's office and get his input? Your partner would probably listen to input from the physician who treats you and who is aware of your particular situation.

LouJ85 · 06/01/2021 21:55

Not by everyone. It's commonly used on other forums less nitpicky than this one.

Grin
Matilda1981 · 06/01/2021 22:01

In theory they will have done the isolation period BUT (and this is where the isolation period actually doesn’t work) if they end up have asymptotic Covid they will then spread the virus. Can you get the kids tested? Or possibly you should isolate from them incase?

Witchymclovely · 07/01/2021 06:05

Ah are did the BM brigade pass irrational judgement again Grin

SandyY2K · 07/01/2021 07:43

I can't believe pp are picking on BM in this post.

OP.... stay as far away from the DC... they can be asymptomatic...take no chances. I'm currently living a covid nightmare and type this through tears. It's absolutely horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

SecretMaccies · 07/01/2021 17:34

I'm confused by the incubation period for kids, as they can often have it without knowing

If it makes you feel any better OP, one of ours had a positive test and barely any systems (a temp for one day but positive case in school). He only had to isolate for the usual 14 days. We saw him the day after the 14 days was up, no one caught anything (even his mum and sibling who were at home with him the whole time!).

If they haven't seen your ex MIL since Christmas, it will have been the 14 days required by the time they come to you.

Original poster
PusheenLove · 07/01/2021 19:04

@Matilda1981

In theory they will have done the isolation period BUT (and this is where the isolation period actually doesn’t work) if they end up have asymptotic Covid they will then spread the virus. Can you get the kids tested? Or possibly you should isolate from them incase?
DH knows my medical situation but the kids have not been tested. They came over today. One of them has what I can describe as "a croaky voice" (like he is losing his voice).

No one seems to care and tbh I feel hurt.

OP posts:
Original poster
PusheenLove · 07/01/2021 19:06

@SandyY2K

I can't believe pp are picking on BM in this post.

OP.... stay as far away from the DC... they can be asymptomatic...take no chances. I'm currently living a covid nightmare and type this through tears. It's absolutely horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

What's happening? Hope you're okay.
OP posts:
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