Hi,
I’ve been a step parent for nearly two years now. At the start they loved me SD 8 SS 5. When my and my partner got together his ex would only allow them to see him during the day on a Saturday so we would always plan fun trips out. Eventually she decided she didn’t want them to see him (no reason at all, just because she uses them to get at him). He went to court and we now thankfully see them more, not as much as we would like though.
It was 8 months before he was able to see them again, and by this point I was pregnant. I’ll admit I wasn’t as fun and playful as before, I had a tough pregnancy.
When they come over now I get anxious. We try to make sure they have a comfortable happy time when they are with us and make sure we make the most of it. Because of our limited time we don’t like them sitting on their iPads, this led to my SD making up a horrible lie about me as she didn’t want to come here (for this reason solely, she openly admitted it was because we don’t let her go on her iPad much).
When they are at their mums they say they get bored as they are on their iPads all day, she also goes up to bed and tells them to join her when they are tired. They then think our house is strict and act out. Despite this they are constantly making nasty remarks about their mum which we stop them doing immediately.
I find the constant lying, he said she said draining and I just want it to stop. I want them to be able to enjoy being at both houses but their mum makes it impossible by saying nasty things and letting them basically look after themselves and do what they want (eat pizza and play on iPads).
Will it get better or will my step children come to realise they don’t have to say nasty things about each parent / step parent, and just enjoy their time whatever they are doing?