I've posted in the miscarriage forum, but I'm also a stepmum to 4 age 6-14 and I thought I need to reach out on here for support from those who are also stepparents.
I was 11 weeks. Dating scan was tomorrow. Started bleeding last night which got progressively worse, was advised to go to A and E, had an emergency scan which shows no heartbeat.
The Stepkids know I'm pregnant, I had severe sickness and they worked it out. They were all so excited, especially the youngest two boys. They called it sesame.
But outside of the sadness I feel in having to tell them, I also am beginning to feel resentful. We have them 40% of the time, they are due on Tuesday. I've told DH we can't have them this week and he agrees and says he will sort it, but am I being awful?
Their mum made us have them for three weeks straight because she was having an extension done so i don't really care tbf. I'll still be miscarrying, it's only just started, and I may choose to have surgery depending on how its going, so then there will be that. I'm bracing myself for their mum to be awful about it and demand we have them regardless. She doesn't care.
Being a stepparent just makes things so much harder. It gives a whole other level to the grief and heartache. How will we tell them? I don't want to, I want DH to do it, I can't handle it.
I can't stop crying. I don't just want to be a stepmum forever but right now I don't want to try again. I don't want another one. I wanted that one.