Court Hearings - Advice

[MKM10]

Hi All,
I have been with my partner for 9 months. I have 2 boys who do not have their father in their life and are growing a great bond with my partner. They were introduced to him before our relationship began as they had been to work functions with me so I introduced him as my work friend for a few months whilst we were still in the friend stage then when we established our relationship the boys were made aware from the start, I don’t care for any opinions on the timing of this as I did what felt right for the 4 of us.
My partners ex stopped his contact with his 2 children when he informed her that he planned to start a new relationship. She advised that the children are to never ever be in my company and questioned how he will maintain a relationship when he can’t see me 50% of the time.. She then cut all contact with him and with our first lockdown it only supported her choices.
Months later, they have an interim court agreement where he is granted access at his parents home.
We have agreed to let a property together and are due to move in together very soon. During his main hearing he will be requesting that the children stay with us (after a gradual phased introduction to my children and I) can she stop this simply because she just doesn’t want another woman around her children? Does anyone have any experience of this situation in the UK Family court system?

Legally no but she can make it very difficult by doing things like ignoring the crt order or using her dc to tell tails/report back to her, turning them against you/your dc and there dad.
Be prepared for her to fight dirty which will include lots of lies and drama

😒 how exhausting. Hopefully she will find someone new and get bored of dictating to and manipulating my partner.

I’d care less about what she can stop by virtue of your new relationship and more what she can start regards you/ your children.
I don’t know ages/ sexes of all the children but be very careful about going gung ho into this situation with your children. Even if the court awards contact, in my (unfortunate) experience, it is then very commonplace for there to be severe problems with the NR children. Especially regards you and your children.

Personally? I’d keep things separate for a period of time, is there a reason he can’t have contact for a period of time at his parents? And allow the situation to settle a little?

Technically, no, she has no grounds to say where he can/ cannot have his children. But she can make it all intensely difficult, especially regards your children.

It’s wisest not to ‘presume things will settle’ on this front. She might not ever get bored of this game. Think about how much drama you want in your life/how much of your partner’s emotional energy (and money) might be siphoned off throughout the years, potentially going in and out of court.

Also the knock-on effect on his parenting, presumably you have not met the dc or seen his parenting. This drama could create a 2-tier system where your dc have rules and his are treated like royalty.

You have made it clear you don’t want to be told you’re rushing into this. But the above trains of thought show exactly why proceeding with caution (ie going very slowly about this) might theoretically be advised.

The gamble on this is yours.

I agree with other posters. Keep things separate. It will lead to drama and disruption for you and your children.

You'd be mad to move in with him. She can make his, yours and your ids lives hell.

Wouldn't it make more sense to sort this out before moving in together? You've only been together for 9 months, 2 children on both sides, why the rush?

His focus should be on regaining regular contact with his kids. Why did the interim motion only agreed to contact at his parents house? It sounds like there is more into it than you are sharing or maybe even that you know.

I'd slowed down for your benefit and that of your children.