Would these habits annoy you?

[malificent7]

Step dd is generally lovely but she has a few bad habits which her parents havn't corrected. She is 12 and slurps very loudly when eating. Dp can also be a bit of a slurper ( strangely it dosnt put me off him) but the two together can be noisy! I know i should have said something by now...how can i broach it?

It wouldn’t annoy me but it’s not uncommon for people to be irritated by noisy eaters, of any kind.

Tbh there’s probably little you can do about it. If you can tune it out when your dp does it you can probably extend that to tune it out when his dd does it too.

Ah this is a familiar situation in my house. Dp has tried to say something about it in a lighthearted way and I have been trying for years to get her to eat nicely, but Dd12 is stubbornly resistant to learning good table manners. Dp finds it so revolting he sometimes gets up to eat in the kitchen.
Having some background noise from the radio helps.

If he does it you can’t ask her to stop.

Not that big of a deal. Be prepared for your bad habits to be pointed out.

Tell them both that it is not polite to slurp when you eat.

You need to work on DP first. Seems really unfair to be peeved with a child who is learning rather than a parent who should be teaching.

I have a slurpy daughter (she’s disabled) so we put music on in the background when she’s eating. Is she eating with her mouth open? Lots of children in our class at school do this and it’s something we’ve been working on with them at lunchtimes. They have no idea they’re doing it as their parents don’t seem to have pointed it out to them. It’s noisy and messy.

Oh good god. This is behaviour that needs to be corrected. Otherwise they will go into the world as young adults with these appalling table manners.

You broach it by telling them that people will think these sorts of table manners really off putting. And they will be teased about it. @Hidinge, stubbornly resistant at 12? Are you serious? These are basics.

(@Dotinthecity I am obviously not referring to your DC)

No offence taken @sassbott, our other children don’t slurp! 🤣

Yes it would, and does, bother me hugely!

DP's DS is like this. Older than 12 and old enough to know better. It. Is. Horrific. And not just slurping but generally very loud chewing and grunting with his mouth open. Luckily DP agrees and has pulled him up on it but he was still doing it. It got to the point where my DC would dread him coming over because it's that bad, and I've never allowed them to eat like this so they are always horrified when they hear it.

Luckily DP has had a word again and although his DS refuses to believe that he does it, he didn't do it the last time he was here.

It's an appalling habit and I cannot bear to eat with people who do it.

You have to tackle DH’s slurping first. But I’m a bit confused about why, if they have both been doing for years unchecked, it’s a problem now.

I totally agree that table manners are important. It’s not about being a snob, but wanting a child to be able to go anywhere and be in any situation and fit in. I am stunned at how lax DH is on this with his DC. It was a huge source of debate for us for a long time until I gave up. Good luck!

She probably isn't aware she is doing it. She us also at an age of being self conscious and will be embarassed and therefore defensive.

I would start a conversation about people's annoyingg habits, talk about other family MNers, friends, then yourself and then get dad's and then you can mention that without realising she does it too.

Make a fun deal that you'll work on stopping yours, she does too and if you've both done it at the end of a 2 months period, you get a treat together.

@dontdisturbmenow

She probably isn't aware she is doing it. She us also at an age of being self conscious and will be embarassed and therefore defensive.

I would start a conversation about people's annoyingg habits, talk about other family MNers, friends, then yourself and then get dad's and then you can mention that without realising she does it too.

Make a fun deal that you'll work on stopping yours, she does too and if you've both done it at the end of a 2 months period, you get a treat together.

Or, teach children they aren't there to be patronised and that it's ok to be told something that may be slightly uncomfortable but that they need to take it on board and adapt.

If you are an adult and at work and are doing something wrong, you will get told by your boss and will have to change how you so it. Why can't children learn this lesson when they are young. It's ridiculous that a parent cannot tell their child they have a habit that others are going to find irritating to the point they won't want to eat with them. My DCs have had friends I've refused to have for tea again due to the ridiculous noise they make when eating.