Christmas with the Step Kids!

[Stepmum1996]

Hi :)

I have been a step mum for 4 years now, we have two boys - 10 and 6

This year we have the boys for the weekend of boxing day (sat overnight)

As this is the first year we get them overnight around christmas we want to do christmas eve again and do sunday as another christmas day for them! so we can have all of the Christmas excitement with them.

I was just wondering if anyone had seen any templates for letters from santa, which would tell them he is doing a second trip for them.

As normally we only have them boxing day we tell them santa came already and the presents are there waiting?

Hope that makes sense :)

Is the ten year old really up for a Santa letter and a fake Christmas Eve? When we’ve had my step children for Boxing Day they get their stockings and gifts from us straight away. They’ve already missed being with us for Christmas by then so wouldn’t want to wait an extra day.

So I'm inclined to agree with @AnneLovesGilbert - we have DSD for Christmas Eve every other year, the years she doesn't wake up with us on Christmas morning her presents are just there when she arrives and we explain that Santa brought hers when he brought her sisters on Christmas Eve.

However, this is your Christmas, not mine! So if that's what you'd like to do I'd recommend going on Etsy - they have some really nice letters from Santa you can buy. I've had great customer service from Etsy sellers, and I dare say if you message one and ask kindly they might write the letter to explain what you'd like it to say? You could then put the name/delivery details as those of your DSC so it comes directly to them, 'from Santa?'

That would be what I'd do in your situation

From my experience with my SS, I would say don't overegg it. Every year my partner, who is obviously emotional about not seeing his son on Christmas, tries to make Boxing Day a "second Christmas". My SS, who obviously doesn't understand the emotional pressure my partner has spent weeks putting himself under, comes in and could not make it any plainer that "real" Christmas has already happened. He has no appetite to pretend it's Christmas Day again, the notion confuses him. The excitement he feels and demonstrates on Christmas Day is not there. Objectively, I can see why he feels that way, but it is always hard and disappointing for my partner, who is the only one who naturally feels it as important they spend Christmas together.

Trying to force it just leads to disappointment. I think the best thing to do is make Boxing Day something that's different but also fun. We have a party buffet type meal, it's a different set up. Don't get too hung up on pretending it's Christmas Day again.

Sorry, I know you didn't ask for advice on your plans, but it could save you a fair bit of heartache!

Agree with above posters. I don’t think it’s realistic to try and fake Christmas Eve. When my DSD (7) is not here for Christmas her santa delivery is waiting under the tree for her arrival.

It is clear your intentions are good OP but it will come across as horribly try hard, just don't do it.

Relax. Have a lovely family time with them.

Sorry, as someone who's parents divorced when I was 5, we did two christmas' my whole childhood - so really special for us to carry it on :) the kids already know its happening and cant wait to get a second visit from Santa, they think theyre so extra special because santa can come for a second time with them -

But thanks for the etsy advice I will do this :)

I have been there step mum for over 4 years now, so appreciate the advice but I do know them and what they would or wouldnt find fun and exciting - this is all for them :)

Hope you all have lots of fun!

@Stepmum1996

Sorry, as someone who's parents divorced when I was 5, we did two christmas' my whole childhood - so really special for us to carry it on :) the kids already know its happening and cant wait to get a second visit from Santa, they think theyre so extra special because santa can come for a second time with them -

But thanks for the etsy advice I will do this :)

I have been there step mum for over 4 years now, so appreciate the advice but I do know them and what they would or wouldnt find fun and exciting - this is all for them :)

I love Etsy! ❤️ hope someone can do it for you!

When I was little we always had a second Christmas day with my dad and stepmum on boxing day and I LOVED it!

I second etsy for Christmas letters, but you could just as easily print something out yourself

Enjoy!

@Stepmum1996 - also not trying to interfere or tell you what to do but I know that none of mine at 10 years old would have bought a second Christmas Eve & a second trip from Santa. At 10 my youngest was already questioning why we sent gifts to charities - as in why do we do this if Santa comes to every child in the world? She was hearing stuff at school & was trying to trip me up & admits now she didn't buy my explanations.
Like others I'm only saying this as it's something that might not be sustainable & I too would be inclined to do something a little less full on.
That being said Etsy will sort you out .

Sorry I’ve no advice, but I’m definitely in the 2 Christmases camp! Christmas Eve is the best day of the year, who wouldn’t want 2??

My eldest was 10 when she admitted she didn't believe. She was still more than happy to go along with the fun for her younger sibling for a good few years.

My friends with teenage children still put out a carrot and a mince pie on Christmas eve as a tradition even though nobody believes in Santa.

The 10 year old will be excited for presents regardless of where he suspects he come from.

Enjoy OP.

I think it’s a lovely idea and definitely do it how you want to but I also think you should take into account the advice from @aSofaNearYou as while my DSD is always excited for our Christmas celebrations after Christmas Day it’s also fairly evident that for her it’s not “a second Christmas Day” but just a different celebration. For you it was normal your whole childhood but if your DSSs aren’t used to it they may not react quite how you expected so it doesn’t hurt to keep that in mind so you aren’t disheartened.
Are you doing elf on the shelf? You could use the elf to prepare them for the idea of Father Christmas coming twice? I was going to use the elf to help explain to my DD why her DSD gets presents in two places