Will our relationship ever improve?

[ObsessedwithFIFA]

So I've been with DP for nearly 3years, and we're getting married early next year.
He has DD who's 16, and I've known her for just over 2 years now.

She's a nice girl and is great with my DS who's 9. I just wish we had a better relationship, she's very shy around me, and if I'm being honest I really don't know what to talk to a 16 yo about!

We're pleasant and I always include her when she's round and if my DP is at work, it just feels a bit awkward. Will it improve as she gets older? She doesn't really do a lot apart from go to college, and she seems to Snapchat friends but hardly goes out (pre COVID too).

Do I just let her come to me when she's ready? I was an awful 16 yo so it's a bit alien to me!

Any advise would be welcomed :)

As long as you’re pleasant and welcoming then maybe let her come to you.

My SC are 15 and 17 and all they’re interested in is friends, socialising, social media, etc. Even DH jokes they only talk to him when they want something.

It could just be her age. As long as you’re kind then in time hopefully your relationship will develop. Be consistent, don’t try too hard but equally don’t tolerate any poor behaviour.
What does your DP say?

As long as you’re pleasant and welcoming then let her come to you.

My SC are 15 and 17 and all they’re interested in is friends, socialising, social media, etc. Even DH jokes they only talk to him when they want something.

It could just be her age. As long as you’re kind then in time hopefully your relationship will develop. Be consistent, don’t try too hard but equally don’t tolerate any poor behaviour.
What does your DP say?

He jokes we're both a bit awkward with each other. It's better when DP or my son is there.

At 16 I was all about going out and would not have sat downstairs with my parents at watched TV. She likes to be with her Dad and sits with us (which is nice) but he does pander to her a lot!
I just want her to know that I'm there if she needs anything, she has a Mum and they have a good relationship however if she was ever stuck then she just needs to ask.

The fact that she's great with your 9 year old says a lot and that she comes and sits with you of an evening - mine at that age only wanted to be in their rooms! She just sounds like a quiet, self contained child and as others have said, as long as you're kind and welcoming, that's probably all there is to it.

She does sound like a lovely girl