Covid and contact

[EachPeachPearSums]

DSS is 17 and comes EOW. We had agreed at the beginning with his mother that he wouldn't come if anyone from either household had symptoms. DSS has arrived tonight coughing....I've told DH he needs to go straight back to his mothers. And he needs a sodding test. DSS has said everyone in school is coughing/unwell and people have given up even trying to get tests.

DS has autism and going back to school has been SO good for him. Now I reckon we need to isolate until DSS has a negative test? DSS's mother thinks I'm overreacting and we should all just carry on as normal. Tell me I'm not crazy here to think we either isolate or test?

Wouldn't the most prudent thing to do would be to ask your family physician rather the your husband's ex?

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all, a new cough is one of the criteria for testing. Whilst a cough doesn’t definitely indicate COVID it MIGHT hence the rules are that if you get one of the 3 defining symptoms that you as a PRECAUTION isolate and get a test, you isolate until you get a negative test result.

I’m not sure what the rules are for when you’ve been in contact with someone potentially infected so may be best to ask your gp or call 111 for advice ? If I were you I’d probably isolate until a negative test was produced to be on the safe side, but I accept I’m on the more extreme end of the caution spectrum.

Hopefully you DSS will get a test ASAP & put your mind at rest.

It depends on the cough. If intermittent, as in a few times there and then with cold symptoms, then no. If a constant chesty cough, then yes.

I think yabu for sending him packing. He's a part of the family.
Yanbu to expect him to get a test and to all - both households - self isolate.

@EachPeachPearSums I think everyone has the right to feel safe in their own home & set their own 'rules' around Covid.

Imo if ds is in your house & you want him to get a test then he gets one. In fact he should have told his dad he had a cough before he turned up on your doorstep. If he's not prepared to get a test now or in the future (if necessary) & if his dm isn't bothered then he stays with his dm. End of.
A family member of my exh had a close colleague test positive on a weekend when she was visiting exh & my kids were there. She got tested even though she'd no symptoms. My kids stayed with exh & the whole house isolated until the family got her test back which luckily was negative.
That's people behaving responsibly.
Your dss & his dm are (imo) being very irresponsible & it's precisely that attitude which is keeping this virus spreading.

It depends on how much contact your household had with DSS before he returned to his mum's - presumably more than 15 mins at less than 2m distance?

I also know it is very hard to negotiate these kinds of scenarios when different parents (plus any partners) have different attitudes. It would be easier if the government said something like both households need to follow the rules for support bubbles - but they haven't. And it is further complicated by chains of connected families, with various stepchildren going to different households, which in turn have other children staying at other households.

Ds should read dss.

I've just had this. DSS came up for the weekend and thought he had a cold, then lost sense of smell so we got him a test.
Result was positive so two households in lockdown for 14 days. DSD couldn't go to college and their mum couldn't go to work without a test as she is a TA.

Only five days to go til we're free - I'm climbing the walls!