Ohs sons bedwetting/wetting

[Cherryrainbow]

Heya I was just wondering if anyone has some tips or advice i can give my OH.

His son is 6 and a half and sleeps over at weekends. Dss is still in pull ups at night as he wets the bed heavily every night. My OH is getting frustrated because his son will get up in the morning and say dad I'm dry! But he is absolutely soaking. It used to be his son would stay in them as long as he could in the morning and not say if he had wet or on the odd occasion had pooped seemingly using it whilst awake in mornings and not being bothered by it, so I said as soon as he gets up get him to take the pull ups off to eliminate that. In the day dss tends to suddenly run off saying he needs the toilet and he may have a wet at the front of his clothing. to me it seems like his body isn't telling when he needs to go if that makes sense? But OH is concerned about his son being in year 2 now with these issues.

My own son stopped bedwetting not long after he turned 6 as between me and his dad we agreed to use one of those alarm things for a 12 week course and for our son it clicked about half way - we used sticker charts etc. And limited his drinks which I still do and make sure he goes to the toilet before bed.

I've gently suggested to OH the past few months about talking to his sons mum to ask how he is at her house and what they do there. As far as I know from OH she tried the alarm option for 2 nights and stopped because dss didn't like the alarm and she said when she was going in the morning he had slept through and was wet (seemed odd to me as with my sons alarm I would wake up too - sit him on loo, change stuff etc and reset it etc). From what he has said she doesn't seem concerned that he still wets himself in the day as well and just let's him get on with it.

I can understand OHs frustration but I have said to him unless him and his sons mum are on the same page its going to be confusing as they need a consistent strategy. Doctors may not look into stuff until his son is 7 and it might be they will look at medication if reducing drinks etc doesnt work.

I believe my OH understands kids can still bedwet at this age but he is concerned his son still doesn't seem to know when he is wet or when he needs to go in the day.

Anyone else in similar situation or any advice would be much appreciated. I dont think there's anything more I can add to suggestions ive given him already but it would be good to get others perspectives x

Didn’t want to read and run.

Is the age for GP consultation on this around 7 or 8?

It’s good that he is not upset by it but I think your idea of encouraging DH to agree a routine with his ex - or at least understand what she is (and isn’t doing) is a good way forward.

My son is 10 and still wets the bed very very occasionally, he previously did it regular until about age 9. I took him to the continence clinic, because for us, he was dry, with occasional wets then this became wet every night.

One thing they said was no nighttime pull ups. Make sure he drinks lots, during the day as in more than you would naturally drink because his bladder needs to get full and learn to be full. They also asked him to sit down to wee, and at bedtime to have a wee, brush teeth etc etc and then go again. And when he went, to sit and count to 20 slowly to make sure it was all out and he wasn’t rushing!

No nighttime pull ups is a pain I know, when they wet every night! But bed mats are better to be removed and washed. As using pull ups, he won’t feel wet, so won’t know. Hopefully if he wets the bed on a mat, it will wake him, this worked better for my son too, and you can buy washable bed mats.

But you are right his mums needs to be doing the same too or it won’t work!

Thanks guys. I will talk to OH about the no pull ups thing as we are planning to get the boys bunk beds next month.

I asked how things were earlier as he took his son to see his grandparents. Turns out whilst there his son pooped himself but didn't tell anyone. My OH soon sussed it and said his son came up with a few excuses/lies? Before admitting he had in fact messed himself. Goodness knows how long dss would have stayed dirty otherwise. I know he is going to talk to his sons mum about his concerns following this x

Given the daytime wetting/messing it does sound like more than just bed wetting and more of a general continence issue. He definitely needs to speak to his mum about it and tackle it, as other kids will start to notice and won’t be as kind about it now he is getting older.

It’s a difficult one when they aren’t your child as it’s hard to know where to step in and where not to.

If he’s having problems with being wet and/or dirty during the day that suggests there’s probably an issue that needs to be looked at by a doctor. It’s one thing not to be night trained, but it sounds like he’s having problems all the time. And hiding it because he’s probably embarrassed.

Maybe your partner should get him a GP appointment now. You’d wait if it were just a night issue, but it doesn’t sound like it is.

@New2
That all sounds bizarre. If you start your own thread in Relationships I’m sure you will get some advice on there.

Oh never mind!

Have a look at the ERIC website
But definitely sounds like gp...or look at local nursing service we have one locally called the continence service if bowel and bladder..