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Opinion on holidays?

19 replies

LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 11:22

My DH has two children who are school age, one about to start secondary and the other just a couple of years off. We have one young child together who is not in school yet.

When I met DH, he had never really been abroad all that often, I think maybe twice in his life and didn't take the kids abroad on holidays, they went away in the UK as my husband has family in a holiday spot in the UK.

I grew up going abroad every year and I enjoyed doing so still until I met DH.

Since I've been with him, we haven't been abroad all together (Ive been a couple of times with my family) as we simply couldn't afford to go in the school holidays.

My family own property abroad and I want to take our joint DC there with my mum who goes every year still whilst I still can. She obviously goes outside of the school holidays and I will be able to do this for the next few/couple of years until our DC starts school.

AIBU? This would mean we'd go away all 5 of us to a UK holiday like we always do and then I'd go with our joint DC and my mum later in the year to my families holiday home whilst the older two are at school. DH wouldn't come with us.

I have no issue with going in the summer holidays if we can afford it but DH earns more than me and whilst I think he could afford it if he really wanted to, I think he just goes with the status quo so isn't really bothered.

I know DH would like to take his kids abroad at some point but he never seems bothered enough to take the lead and pay for it (I've looked every year and it's nearly 2k just for flights in the holidays!).

OP posts:
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aSofaNearYou · 27/09/2020 12:31

So your husband isn't even going? There is absolutely no question that YANBU here in my opinion.

MeridianB · 27/09/2020 13:15

Assuming no money issues, just go. Will your SCs even know?

LyingDogsLie1 · 27/09/2020 13:19

Of course that’s ok. You’ll get many tell you it’s not, but why should you miss out and centre all YOUR plans and YOUR DC’s plans around your SC.

KylieKoKo · 27/09/2020 13:40

This week I'm visiting family so I can only fast on Monday and Tuesday. I'm a bit apprehensive about back to back fasting though. Does anyone here do it? If so do you feel ok on it?

LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 13:41

@MeridianB

Assuming no money issues, just go. Will your SCs even know?
Well they would yes as they stay with us throughout the week and me and their sibling wouldn't be there.
OP posts:
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 13:43

@LyingDogsLie1

Of course that’s ok. You’ll get many tell you it’s not, but why should you miss out and centre all YOUR plans and YOUR DC’s plans around your SC.
This is how I feel about it really.

They are welcome to come and stay in my families holiday home, all we have to do is pay for flights so we're already saving a huge deal on accomodation. But I'm not / can't fork out another 1k+ so that we can go in school holidays. DH needs to do that.

If he won't then I don't want our DC missing out on the family holidays I had when I was young just because he doesn't want to bother or pay for it.

OP posts:
MeridianB · 27/09/2020 14:31

DH just says you and baby are away with Granny and that’s it. Don’t overthink it. Go while you have the chance as yours will soon be in school.

Giespeace · 27/09/2020 14:42

Has anyone IRL suggested yabu? Because you really, really aren’t. If the DSC own father isn’t bothered then I don’t see why you or anyone else should be.

KylieKoKo · 27/09/2020 16:41

Ha my earlier response was meant to be in another thread!

KylieKoKo · 27/09/2020 16:42

But op I think it's fine to take your child away with your mum.

Enoughnowstop · 27/09/2020 17:14

Will it involve your DH missing contact with his children?

LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 17:21

Well no because DH wouldn't be coming as I said.

OP posts:
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 17:21

I'd be going outside of school holidays with my mum and DH would be staying here with SC.

OP posts:
Enoughnowstop · 27/09/2020 17:25

Ah, apologies. I missed that. It’s really not an issue.

Anuta77 · 28/09/2020 22:23

Definetely, enjoy your vacations. I honestly wouldn't worry if their father isn't worried. You are not responsible for their vacation (which they probably get with their mother as well).
And I think it's great that you and your child get to spend time with your mom/grandma alone.

dontdisturbmenow · 29/09/2020 09:39

Of course it's absolutely fine. He isn't even going. You are just enjoying time with your family. Make the most of it.

SandyY2K · 29/09/2020 23:32

I don't se3 why you'd think this is a problem. Of course you can take your DC away on holiday without your SC and DH.

Kanaloa · 30/09/2020 00:02

No this isn’t a problem. If your DH doesn’t want to bring his children or pay for them to go it’s not fair for you to miss out on going and seeing family.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/09/2020 00:56

Of course you should go! Have a wonderful time.

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