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Original poster

Painting SS's nails...

27 replies

LippyLot · 23/09/2020 14:04

Bit of a weird one. This happened in lockdown but I've wondered for a while if I was being unreasonable or not!

Basically my step son who stays with us 50/50, saw me painting my nails and asked me to do his. I didn't see any reason why not to, DH was in the same room, raised an eyebrow slightly and did a chuckle but wasn't bothered. As he wasn't in school, didn't think it was a problem.

He picked a colour out and I did on hand (at his request!) And told him to let me know when he wanted it taking off. He was so chuffed with it, kept showing it to DH and my mum who came round later on etc... Grin

Anyway, this happened twice. I took it off and he asked me for another colour so we redid it.

Anyway, DH got a bit of a pissed off message from SS's mum basically saying she doesn't want him to come home wearing nail varnish again and why were we even encouraging him to wear it etc etc...

DH basically ignored and said SS had asked and it was just a bit of fun seen as he isn't in school, didn't see a problem and left it there.

Was I unreasonable?! I don't even want to paint my nails around him now in case he asks. I'd feel mean saying no (but would take it off again before he left or went to school).

OP posts:
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Original poster
LippyLot · 23/09/2020 14:04

One hand**

OP posts:
Thisisnotnormal69 · 23/09/2020 14:06

How old was he?

I guess next time take it off before he goes back home?

Thisisnotnormal69 · 23/09/2020 14:06

*is

Original poster
LippyLot · 23/09/2020 14:12

Thanks for replying. He's 6.

I would but she was annoyed that we'd done it at all. We shouldn't be encouraging it apparently.

I'm guessing if DH doesn't care then it's up to us when he's at ours?

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 23/09/2020 14:17

I don’t see the problem at all. It’s just a bit of harmless fun, and as he isn’t in school it isn’t like he’ll be breaking uniform policies or anything.

However, I would probably just take it off before he goes home next time. That way you can continue to do something nice with SS but without his mum getting annoyed.

purpleboy · 23/09/2020 14:20

Such a shame idiot parents force these gender stereotypes on their children, presuming she wouldn't mind if it was a girl.
Your doing nothing wrong, mum need to get a grip.

ILoveFlumps · 23/09/2020 14:25

Urgh. No. YANBU. My DS5 loves having his nails painted. Because he sees me and his sisters doing it. His dad thinks it will turn him gay Hmm. I pointed out that there are no such warning on the bottle of nail varnish and I would continue doing it if DS wanted it........

Mylittlepony374 · 23/09/2020 14:31

"no such warning on a bottle of nail varnish" 😂😂 I'm going to steal this line next time someone says my nephew shouldn't be wearing it. He is 7 and loves having his nails painted but my god the number of people who think it's some indicator of his sexuality is just crazy.

YADNBU. The kids mother is definitely bring unreasonable. I'd keep painting them and just take it off before he goes back to her house.

AlwaysLatte · 23/09/2020 14:35

It's totally fine! My stepson went through a phase of wearing a dress to preschool, it lasted a few weeks, no one batted an eyelid and now he's engaged to be married (to a woman!)

LindaEllen · 23/09/2020 14:43

Nothing wrong with it, but if it was me I'd probably just make sure it was removed before he went back to hers.

Meggymoo777 · 23/09/2020 15:12

Definitely not being unreasonable... paint his nails and remove it before he goes home. As long as he is being well taken care of it is none of his Mums business really. My son is 10, has always loved me doing his hair/makeup... and I love it too!!! His father was never too impressed but I honestly couldn't care less. DS is a well rounded, open minded little kid... (and has a beautiful face and incredible hair! 😂) His Mum will do far more damage to his self esteem and development by making a big deal of this.

Bluebell878275 · 23/09/2020 16:14

It's absolutely fine to paint his nails. I would just take it off before he goes back to Mum's as she may not have any remover.

MeridianB · 23/09/2020 18:30

Absolutely nothing wrong with a boy doing this but maybe as he is little she doesn’t like the chemicals? Just wondering.

grey12 · 23/09/2020 22:09

I remember my grandmother painting her nails and then she would do one (yes just one Sad) nail on me and my brother. My mum would then take it off when we got home but it was something different I suppose cause my mum never painted hers.

Trust me, my brother does NOT paint his nails these days!

HeckyPeck · 24/09/2020 10:43

YANBU. It’s up to your DH what he’s comfortable with in your home 💅🏻

Probably best to remove before he goes to his mum so he doesn’t get told off/caught in the middle.

TiptopJ · 24/09/2020 17:15

Hes in his father's time so if his dad is okay with it that's all that matters.

AnneElliott · 24/09/2020 17:23

I think it's fine. DS has his feet painted with blue polish at about the same age.

He doesn't wear it now he's a teenager!

Scweltish · 24/09/2020 17:43

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to this. If it’s upsetting his mum though I just wouldn’t do it. It’s not something to cause as argument over

Amanda87 · 24/09/2020 20:33

I'm a step mother, but I'm teaming up with the mother here.
Do not paint my boy's nails. And sometimes the kids will ask for you to do stuff that's not good or just cause they're curious.
In a situation like this, I would totally tell him to ask his parents first if that'd be ok and would clean him up before he goes home.
Some stuff is just NOT OUR PLACE to decide.

RainbowReader · 24/09/2020 20:40

@Amanda87 OP did it in front of the childs father, he okayed it. That's enough.

YANBU OP. SS mum probably one of these morons who thinks his penis is going to fall off if he has anything remotely girly.

My SS (9) loves having his nails painted and playing with my makeup. DH walked in on him applying my fake tan all over his body 🤣

It shows he wants to be like you! Ignore the mum.

excelledyourself · 24/09/2020 21:06

@Amanda87 but why not? What's the harm? Would you object to him coming home with his face painted after a birthday party?

HowFastIsTooFast · 24/09/2020 21:11

YANBU Op, if his Mum has an issue with it then that's her issue alone and I'm a bit sad for him because of it.

Just ignore her & keep on nurturing your DSS's personality, individuality and sense of funSmile

HowFastIsTooFast · 24/09/2020 21:14

@Amanda87 What is 'not good' about nail varnish please? Are you worried about it potentially being toxic, so this statement would presumably apply to little girls too? Or are you being small minded and judgemental over literally nothing?

He's not asking to go play on the railway tracks or juggle knives for goodness sake Hmm

Nat6999 · 24/09/2020 23:28

I did nail art on ds at that age, nothing girly, he had buses & tractors on his nails.

dontdisturbmenow · 25/09/2020 09:08

Such a shame idiot parents force these gender stereotypes on their children
Why jumping on the wagon of gender stereotypes?

I wouldn't be happy for my daughter to come back with painted nails at 6yo. Just as I didn't want her to have hair dye at 10.