Partner considering leaving because of my 10yo behaviour

[Emz2019]

My partner is considering breaking up and leaving, we are engaged and have a 2yo, but my 10 yo behaviour is erratic, he kicks off and flips and starts swearing and attacking and I myself am at the end of my feather, my partner said he’s had enough of it and that if he does come home from work today that he wants nothing more to do with my 10yo after his latest kick off last night and swearing at us both. I don’t know what to do. I made a doctor appointment for my child so we can discuss these outbursts he’s having I feel so drained but to not have my parent on side supporting and possibly breaking up with me over this doesn’t seam fair

It must be an incredibly difficult thing to deal with for a step parent. Do you agree with each other on how to deal with the behaviour?

Do you know what is triggering your child's outbursts and how long has it been going on?

Have you tried to get to the bottom of these outbursts?

There's usually some underlying issue where a child behaves like this?

How long has it been going on?
What consequences does he face for this behaviour?

Could there be jealousy that he's no longer an only child and not the centre of your world? As well as the fact that his sibling has a mum and dad every day.

Is his dad in his life?

Does he behave like this in school?

Have you identified any triggers for his behaviour?

You don't have to answer the questions...they're just some things to think about?

I presume he wasn't always this way, as your partner wouldn't have had a child with you.

Watch supernanny and use her techniques lol
Ive copied loads of them and they really work. You'd be surprised how much more boundaries as well as more praise and affection work!

Is this new behaviour from your DS (suggests something has happened) or a long standing pattern (any suspicion of SEN?)

Behaviour is usually a symptom of a deeper issue. Dont treat the behavior treat the root cause. The behavior is just your child's chosen way of expressing himself because maybe he can't make sense of it himself. Thats your job.

I really feel for you OP but I must admit I'd find that terribly hard to deal with as a step parent.

I hope the doctor's appointment can be the beginning of getting some answers x

I think getting your 10yo to the doctor and getting some professional help is a really good idea.

Have you and your partner not spoken since the outburst last night? If this has been going on for years (you say you have a 2yo together) it’s possible that he feels this is the final straw type of thing. Maybe you could explain that you are seeking professional help now. It sounds like this has put a massive strain on both of you.

How many years has the 10 year old been behaving erratically?
What have you tried to deal with it?